More jeers than cheers in VH1’s new scripted drama
PICK AND ROLL: Valery Ortiz, Taylour Paige, Logan Browning and Katherine Bailess, from left, play basketball cheerleaders in ‘Hit the Floor.’
Boston Herald
May 27, 2013
“Hit the Floor” Series premiere tonight at 9 on VH1. Grade: C
You might have trouble figuring out who the Los Angeles Devil Girls are supposed to be in the new VH1 scripted series “Hit the Floor.”
Are they cheerleaders, dancers, prostitutes or toys for the pro basketball players?
Don’t worry. The producers apparently have the same problem in this minor scripted night-time soap.
Our heroine Ahsha Hayes (newcomer Taylour Paige) ditches a bank job interview her mom Sloane (Kimberly Elise, “Close to Home”) set up so she can live her dream to audition for the Devil Girls, the cheerleading squad allegedly more popular than the team for whom they root.
Mom was an original Devil Girl and practically crosses herself and throws salt over her shoulder when reminded of her sordid past.
Team captain Jelena (Logan Browning, “Meet the Browns”) immediately loathes the talented upstart and does everything but grease the floor to trip her up.
Much of the hour consists of extended dance numbers that come off as “Showgirls” outtakes crossed with community college aerobics.
The athletes leer at the women and view them as their private hookup pool. How long before Ahsha forgets about nice-guy boyfriend German (Jonathan “Lil J” McDaniel) for cocksure player Derek (McKinley Freeman)?
Not everyone here is completely despicable: Raquel (Valery Ortiz) is a single mom embroiled in a nasty custody case with the guy who manages half the players. Kyle (Katherine Bailess, “One Tree Hill”) is the Southern ex-stripper who will do anything — anything — to advance her career. Unconcerned about how the other cheerleaders view her, she’s camp fun.
“These girls will eat you alive,” she advises Ahsha. “The ones that eat at all.”
Dean Cain (“Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman”) and Charlotte Ross (“NYPD Blue”) fill out supporting roles as Pete Davenport, the ex-player now coaching the basketball team, and Olivia Vincent, the squad manager, respectively.
Cain chews a lot of gum. Ross looks, umm, tightened since last seen on the small screen. It seems unfortunate that both their careers have led to this dead end.
There’s a minor mystery involving a dancer named Mia who ran out of town. The show isn’t interested, why should you be?
In the last 30 seconds or so of tonight’s pilot, somebody remembers some drama is needed to hook viewers into coming back in a week. This sure isn’t “Scandal.” The plot twist is so hokey and delivered so matter-of-factly, it even insults the minor reality of this show.
“Hit the Floor” shakes a lot of booty but could use a few kicks itself.
