Field Trip: 2010 Clippers Photo Shoot

Last month I had the opportunity to sit in on the photo shoot for the Los Angeles Clippers’ various entertainment teams. (And when I say “opportunity,” I mean I begged, and Director Audrea Harris gave in. This is because she is a wonderfully kind and generous human being.)

She is also out of her mind.

[Sidebar: Remember that time Michael Jackson went to court in his pajamas? They showed him on the news, shuffling around in his slippers and I felt so bad for him, because this clearly was a person with no real friends. I know Michael Jackson had no real friends, because friends do not let friends go to court in their jammies. A real friend would’ve pulled him aside and said “Look here, buddy, I know you’re comfy, but this thing with the pjs is not going to happen.” A real friend would’ve thrown him/herself across the doorway and refused to let the man leave the house until he was dressed in a nice pair of pants.]

My point is this: if you really like a person, you ought to tell him when he’s acting crazy. This is why, when Audrea told me she’d scheduled the photo shoots for ALL of her entertainment teams on one single day, I told her straight up that she had lost her marbles. The dance team shoot alone could last from sunup to sundown. Audrea planned to tackle the kids team, the stunt team, the dunk team, the crowd crew, and Lord only knows who else in one else in a single day? Shyeah, right.

Then again, this is a woman who managed to pull off interviews, open calls, and final auditions for three of those groups over a 4 day period in July. This is a woman who is not afraid to tackle a big job. But she always manages to pull it off, so no wonder she laughed off my objections. When she continued on to tell me that the dance team was staying afterward for rehearsal, I rolled my eyes, but kept my mouth shut.

I guess I’m the dumb one, because not only did she do it, she finished EARLY.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if I ever have to go into battle, I want Audrea as my general. She gets things DONE.

Anywho, when I got there in the morning, things were already in full swing. I snuck (sneaked?) in the back while the Jr. Jam kids were in the middle of their shoot. Those kids are freakin’ adorable.

It’s crazy how much they grow from one year to the next.

All of the parents were lined up along the wall, capturing every moment on video, and urging Bobbie and little Suzie to smile bigger. When the shoot was finished, Audrea let the kids do a couple of fun shots, and then the parents had a chance to snap a few photos of the group.

Next up was the Crowd Crew. This is the group that gives away shirts and prizes and goes up in the stands during the game. Audrea herded them into place, the photographer did his thing, and it was over, just like that.

After that came the Dunk Team, the Drum Squad, and the Fast Break Crew. I don’t have any photos of them because I went looking for the Spirit dancers. This was the first time I’d see them since auditions. I wanted to see if there had been any crazy makeovers. I was praying for a redhead.

I looked into the makeup room, where Liz was being beautified. No redheads in here…

…and I peeked into the hair room, where Brittany was getting her hair did. No redheads here, either

These were the only two photos I took in there.

[sidebar: It took me over a year of photographing various teams to learn a valuable lesson. Taking a lot photos sans hair and makeup is not a good way to ingratiate yourself with people. In fact, it’s just bad policy. Some people have their own cameras. And if you shoot them looking like aitch-eee-double-hockey-sticks, they tend to want revenge. And since I generally wander around looking like I was dragged backwards through a hedge, I can’t have people pointing their camera phones at me.]

While I was back there, I found out the girls had new costumes for their individual photos. Nothing fascinates me like fluffy animals and sparkly costumes so I immediately ditched the dancers and went looking for the new outfits.

Aha! Found ’em!

O.M.G. ruffles!

Oh boy, I loves some ruffles. If it has a ruffle, or a bow, or a puff sleeve, I’m all about it.
(In moderation, of course. One mustn’t go around dressed like Little Bo Peep.)

I don’t ever wear ruffles, bows, or puff sleeves, because I look like a fool in them, but I luuuuv them.

Other things I love include: windy days, rainbows, tree houses, bendy straws, and the color magenta. (In case you were wondering.)

The blonde girlie is Andi and Anasheh is the brunette.

One important thing: you need to know how to pronounce Anasheh.
It sounds like Onna-shay. First syllable rhymes with “Donna.” Second syllable rhymes with “Day.” Ana-sheh. Got it?

I assume you know how to pronounce Andi, yes?
(Note to self: find out if her name is really Andrea or something.)

The individual shots were quick. All that prep time for two minutes in front of the camera. But it was worth it, because everyone sure looked purty.

[Sidebar: I think one of the things you have do when you join a pro dance team is find a shade of red lipstick that doesn’t terrify you.]

The photographer let the girls have a peek at their shots.

I cornered Brittany in the hallway

Audrea gives Chelsea a last minute fluff

Jocelyn danced for the Utah Jazz for three years, so she’s a pro at this.

Recee with straight hair. Oooh la la!

Anasheh, Justene, Mandi, Brittany, Kellie, and Andi waiting for their turn

I caught a couple of the girls practicing their poses in front of the mirror.

Smile!
(That’s Chelsea, Bianca, Brittany, Kellie, Katrina, Anasheh, Andi, and Mandi)

Then I had an idea. There I was, with a roomful of dancers, a backdrop, and a camera. Hot diggity – a chance to play professional photographer! I am determined to conquer this photography thing, so I maneuvered them over to the backdrop, one by one.

I love these girls. They always play along.

Mandi

Bianca

When I had a whole bunch of them together, I started calling out orders like I knew what I was doing. It was kind of like playing barbie, but with human beings. I wanted to load them up in the camper and go over to the dream house for a BBQ with Skipper and Ken.


Everyone turn to the right!

Now face front!

Do “sexy face!”
Bwah ha ha ha!

Now do two lines!

How cute are they, seriously?

These three started to get a little too into it. I haven’t seen poses like that since my sister’s last jazz dance recital.

After all the girls had done their individual shots, then did a quick group photo with the new red and white uniforms. Then they had a break while the Fan Patrol girls took their turn.

Justene and Jessica are sorority sisters

Drea fixes Jessica’s hair

Marquita
(FYI: It’s Mar-KEE-ta, not Mar-KWEE-ta)

[Sidebar: FYI, the Fan Patrol gals were also wearing new outfits. Cha cha cha! Audrea took a liking to the outfit Nina wore for auditions, and decided it would work well for the entire team. (The girls, anyway. The guys, not so much.)

Audrea tweaked the color combination a little, and voila!
(This little number comes from our friends at The Line Up.)

Melek

Stephanie

Summer is a longshoreman.
So. Awesome.

I also managed to corner most of the Fan Patrol boys.

(Arturo, Luis, Hasani, Craig, James, Brian, Ryan, and Vince)

I asked them to do “sexy face” but their sexy faces were more like “huh?” faces.

Remember how I said I have a thing about sparkly outfits and fluffy animals?
Enter Toddi: Beloved pooch of Brian from the Fan Patrol


Who’s a widdle cutie pie? You are! You are!

Brian says his dog is part lizard, because he’s got the longest tongue you’ve ever seen.
(The dog, that is. Not Brian. Then again, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen Brian’s tongue…)

The man is telling the truth.

Anyways, back to the Fan Patrol girls

Summer, Marquita, Jessica, Julie, Stephanie, Jacquelyn, and Melek

Melek was wearing a particularly fetching ensemble

Audrea and Brian’s dog direct the shoot

The Fan Patrol had to do something a little different this year. Usually they put a few of the girls up on the guys’ shoulders, but the ceilings were kind of low, so they had to change it up a little.


Standing guys (L to R): Nate, Luis, Craig, James, Ryan, and Hasani
Standing girls: Summer, Marquita, and Julie
Kneeling guys: Arturo, Monte, Brian, and Vince
Seated girls: Nina, Jacquelyn, Shea, and Stephanie
Girls in front: Melek and Jessica

Not pictured: Greg, Mandy, Cortlin (Couldn’t be there that day. Bummer),
and Tami (who up and retired on me. No, I’m not over it yet.)

While the Fan Patrol was shooting, the Spirit girls changed outfits for their team photo. I wanted to get a photo of all the Fan Patrol girls and Spirit girls in their blue outfits, but by the time I thought of it, half the Fan Patrol girls had already changed back to their street clothes. Drat.


(Justene, Bianca, Brittany, and Teresa)

I felt bad for the girls perching on the stools. That has to hurt your tush.

I wanted them to put this one on the website.

Or this one!

These are the ones they went with.
[Click here to view full-size]

And then it was all over. It was only 3 o’clock and the whole thing was done. All the teams, everyone – DONE. The Fan Patrolers split, the Spirit girls went to grab lunch, and Audrea went off to call the choreographer (former Clippers Spirit member Ashley) to see if she could come early.

As for me, I went home to take a nap. A whole day of doing nothing can really wear you out!

Later, as I was looking at the photos [which you can see right here], I started thinking maybe I could make a wallpaper or something. (I’ve been learning some new things in photo shop.)

After a needlessly lengthy conversation with a friend about the movie Xanadu, I was inspired to create this masterpiece (cliquez ici, s’il vous plaît):

Considering it’s my first attempt, I don’t think it totally sucks.
It’s not as “glow-y” as the movie, but that would’ve been overkill, don’t you think?

They sure don’t make movie musicals like they used to.

That peek-a-boo thing Olivia Newton-John does is pure cinematic magic.