2013 Clippers Spirit Photo Shoot
The Los Angeles Clippers Spirit dance team had their annual photoshoot a couple of Sundays ago. I love photo day. I’m always fascinated to see how it all comes together. And – if I may be selfish for just a moment – I enjoy it because it’s my chance to get to know everyone a little better, in an environment where they’re not all stressed out because the judges have been gone for hours, or because pregame is in five minutes.
This year, there are 17 ladies on the team, 12 veterans and five rookies. I still can’t get over that. I was really worried during auditions, trying to figure out which veteran(s) would be cut. The fact that they all made it, made my day. My week even.
Veterans!
Back: Shannon, Tatum, Becca, Brittany, and Leisha
Front: Jacy, Karissa, Kellie, Sara, Ashley, Kelsey, and Candace
Rookies!
Brooke, Natalie, Traci, Brianna, and Leiana
On photo day, all of the veterans were scheduled to go first. That surprised me. I thought for sure it would be the rookies. Isn’t that extra hour of sleep on a Sunday morning one of the perks of tenure? But maybe the veterans were meant to set an example.
One of the girls already there was Shannon, who decided to paint her nails while she was waiting for her turn. I could not believe it when I saw her whip out that little bottle of bright red nail polish. Was she nuts? Who does their nails (bright red, I might add) right before she has to (a) get undressed, (b) get re-dressed, (c) in something small and tight, and (d) brightwhite! Where (e) there was every chance she’d smear on herself. That’s not asking for trouble, that’s begging for it.
Who does that?
Shannon is an interesting gal. I had a totally different impression of her three years ago, when she first made the team. She was just a quiet little mouse in the corner. Never said a word. She flew so far under the radar, I had to dig and dig and dig to find even a couple of photos of her. Now I know I was way off the mark back then.
Quiet?
Timid?
Shannon?
NO.
Allow me to direct your attention to the combat boots. Enough said.
If I need someone to stand on one foot, cross her eyes, and recite all fifty states in backwards order, Shannon will be on Rhode Island before I’m finished asking the question. Of course, with this particular group of young ladies, Shannon would not be doing it by herself. There’d be four or five of them, wobbling on one foot, racing to see who could get to Alabama first.
I blame Brittney for this team’s whole attitude. As the senior veteran on the team, she’s supposed to set an example. And she does. Great dancer, fabulous performer, very approachable, very responsible…and goofy as hell. *cough*instigator*cough*. And it’s contagious.
I’m keeping one eye on Brittney this season. She has come up with this harebrained theory that if you’re on a team more than six years, upon completion of the sixth year, the cheer dial rotates backward a few clicks and resets you to rookie status.
I’ve heard of born-again Christians, and born-again virgins. I have never ever heard of a born-again rookie, and Brittany isn’t the first one. I explained this to her, but she didn’t listen. I know this, because every time I tried to take a photo of the rookies, there was Brittney, elbowing her way in. I am concerned she is on the verge of a truly spectacular quarter-life crisis.
Planking with Brittany
FYI: a word of wisdom from Brittney. If you insist on wearing your clip-in weave to the airport, prepare to be stopped by security. When the team was on the way to China, they pulled her aside and did a pat-down on her head. Her HEAD. Look at her! Does it look like there’s room in there for box cutters and plastic explosives?
Then you have Sara. Sara’s taste is rather…ahem…eclectic. She is running around in these insane flowery stretch pants, a skeleton sweatshirt, and Transformer socks.
According to my sources, Sara, used to have black hair. Black as night. Black as a raven’s wing. Black as…well I supposed you all know what black is. I forgot to ask if she was full-on goth or what. For some reason, I have no difficulty picturing it. My mental Goth-Sara looks like Wednesday Aadams. Although I doubt Wednesday spends all day playing football on her Ipad.
Another one to keep your eye on is Brittney Jr. Candace. Hard to believe those two aren’t related. (They aren’t. I checked. Had to. They have the same last name, so I had questions.) They certainly behave like they were hatched from adjacent eggs.
Gina does Candace’s hair
I hear Candace has a friend making an array of jaunty little hair bows to coordinate with her Clippers costumes this year. So get ready for that. Although I don’t know if it’s possible to be truly prepared for anything Candace does. Or says. Or thinks. But I enjoy her. And not just because she showed up for the shoot with an old school hard-bonnet hair dryer, and hustled that bad boy up the long flight of stairs like it weighed nothing at all.
The shoot was a little different this year, because it was only the Clippettes. Usually there are other people there.
(I probably shouldn’t call them that. If the Clippers organization started calling them that, it would annoy me greatly. But I have to call them something. “Clippers Spirit” is a single entity. A collective. Like the Borg. “Clippettes” on the other hand, are individual people. Besides, there aren’t that many decent alternatives. “Clippers Girls” has two many S’s and it sounds like they have something to do with cutting hair or making topiaries. “Spirit Girls” doesn’t work. That sounds like they do séances and speak in tongues, and I haven’t seen any evidence of that)
Usually all of the Clippers entertainment groups do their shoot on the same day. In addition to the Clippettes, there’s the Fan Patrol, the Crowd Crew, the Fast Break Crew, the Junior Jam, and the dunk team, and whoever else I’ve left off the list. It’s a lot of people. Especially when the Junior Jam is included, because the parents come with. And this is LA, so I’m sure you can imagine how it goes down. Every mom is busy signaling her kid to move a little closer to front and center. For the most part, they try to be good and let Audrea (Chief-Chick-In-Charge) of all these groups) direct the shoot, but some of them just can’t keep it to themselves. (Smile bigger! Look happy! Stand up straight! No no no…your other left!)
There was no Fan Patrol this year because their auditions hadn’t happened yet. Since they’d have to do their shoot later, and since the Clippettes usually take up most of the photo shoot time (with their individual photos, costume changes, and whatnot) it probably makes sense for them to do their shoot separately. So it was a smaller, quieter group this year. Quiet except for the stereo system swinging wildly back and forth between Rihanna and old-school New Edition. (“Ronnie, Bobbie, Ricky and Mike, if I like the girl who cares who you like?” That never gets old.)
This year the individual photos were done in a cute little spaghetti strap top with matching v-front shorts. I did a little survey and the general consensus was that it’s one of their favorite costumes. Although perhaps there could be a little more oomph in the cleavage department. (Hey, I didn’t say it. I’m just reporting.) Personally, I think it’s fine the way it is.
Rookie action with Nat, Leiana, Brooke, and Brianna.
Besides, there’s more than enough sexy in those boots. The pointy white boots continue to frighten me. I haven’t quite figured out why that this. The red ones are just as pointy, but they don’t scare me.
Sara’s boots fit like galoshes. Tee hee.
It’s like Bambi in go-go boots.
I pondered briefly whether those white boots would be less scary if they added some of those new logo boot cuffs. I didn’t really come to any consensus on that. Although the three of us (me, myself, and I) would like to see those boots in Clippers blue. I don’t know if they come in Clippers blue, but we would like to see that. We had a whole long conversation about it. Mostly I’m glad the girls don’t dance in those boots. Ok they did one time, but I’m hoping that’s a one-off.
Note to self: Check and see if there’s a name for that particular shade of Clippers blue. You know, like how the Philadelphia Eagles have “Midnight Green,” and the Detroit Lions have “Honolulu Blue”. Maybe that’s an NFL thing. But don’t the Celtics have “Celtics Green.” Or am I making that up? I feel like “Clippers Blue!” could be a real thing.
All of the girls did their individual shots first. I think this is the first year (or the first in a long time) that they’ve used the traditional blue (Clippers Blue!) background for the individuals. Usually that’s just for the team shot. Although using a colored background can make it more difficult to cut the girls away from the background for various photoshop projects (posters, banners, and whatnot) it looks really good. They had a red backdrop in 2007. That was pretty nice too, but the blue (Clippers Blue!) is better. Sets off that touch of blue in their outfits.
One of the most amusing parts of the day was watching Brittney get coached on how to do sexyface for her photo. C’mon Brittney. This is year seven. Let’s try something different this year! This was a hoot, because Brittney is one of those people who is just cannot take herself seriously. She’s a person who laughs a lot. (She works at Disneyland, for Pete’s sake.) And trying to do sultry just makes her (and the rest of us) laugh harder.
She’s trying…
Some girls are just naturally able to do the “well hello there hotstuff” face. Miss Brittney ain’t one of them. But she’s not alone. Based on my informed observation, there appears to be an inverse relationship between sexyface and the inherent wackiness of your personality. The more you have of the latter, the less accomplished you are with the former. And if you have dimples, you might as well fugeddabout it entirely.
For what it’s worth, Brittney did manage to pull it off, at least once that I saw.
Let me explain what goes on at these photo shoots: three things
(1) Texting
(2) Taking crazy photos of each other
(3) Texting crazy photos of each other to each other.
They start off taking a photo of themselves with their friends, all purtied up and fluffed and puffed. They send that to the boyfriend, and the bestie, and mom and dad. That lasts for about half a minute. Once that’s taken care of, the goofy photos start, each one of them trying to look crazier than all the others. These are the photos they text to each other.
Roll call. Blondes represent!
These girls spend all morning making crazy faces at each other’s cameras…until it’s their turn at bat. At that point, it’s all business. After all, they are going to have to live with these photos for a whooooole year, if not the rest of their lives. Lucky for them Audrea is one of those directors who lets the girls look at the shots, so they can understand what they are being asked to adjust in the poses or facial expressions. Some directors don’t allow the girls to see photos. (I can support that approach too, by the way. Oy vay with the “OMG I look fat, can I have a do-over?” As if.)
Honestly, what did people do before the digital camera was invented?
Strike that. I know exactly what they did. They took the photo and hoped for the best. And that’s one of the reasons why vintage cheerleader photos are some of my favoritest things in the world.
If I may go off-topic for a moment…There was one year when the Dallas Cowboys photographed every cheerleader in the same pose, with one hand behind her back. Looked like an entire squad of one-handed cheerleaders. (I’m not saying the word “amputee”, but I’m thinking it.)
Neeeeever would’ve happened in the age of digital photography. Amiright? You know I am.
Sidebar: Do you recognize the hottie on the top left? Yes indeed, that is Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
Director Kelli Finglass (McGonagill at the time) circa 1988, doing WERK.
And the bottom right is Leslie Ezelle from HG tv’s “Design Star.”)
I’m all about the girl with the shower pouf on her head. Ssssassy!
The other thing the girls do while they wait is practice their poses. I will be honest, when I first got acquainted with this industry, the concept of practicing for a photo shoot struck me as possibly the most vapid activity ever. Alls you gotta do is stand there with your hip stuck out to the side and smile for the camera. This requires actual practice?
Well, yes. Yes it does. Because what happens is this – and I’ve seen it a bunch of times – girl steps in front of the camera. Girls mind goes blank. It’s the same thing that happens during finals, when everyone shows up with an idea of what to do for their solo, and then forgets every last bit of it. Only in this case, there’s someone standing there, reminding you what to do.
Still, it does help to think about it a little beforehand. The veterans have the advantage knowing exactly what they did and did not like about their photo the year before. Often they’ll want to make sure they do something different from previous years.
I had an interesting chat with Becca about this topic. Becca is an alumni Arizona Cardinals Cheerleader. The Cardinals squad often incorporates poms, or a football, or a football helmet in their cheerleader photos. In a situation like that, there are so many cheerleaders, and only so many things they can do with a helmet or a football, so they run out of poses. Eventually, somebody winds up sitting on a helmet.
I expect sitting on a helmet and not looking like your butt hurts takes a certain amount of skill.
Personally, I have three poses that I hate and really can’t stand. Whenever I’m at a shoot and I see any of these three poses happening, I do whatever I have to do to make it stop. Because they look stupid. I’m sorry, but they do. And friends do not let friends take stupid looking photos.
You’ve seen them all before: (a) the invisible table, (b) the dead arm, and (c) the gimmie gimme/pointy pointy. I don’t see them very often, but when I do, there’s an automatic eye roll. (Apologies to those in the photos, but this is for educational purposes.)
Honestly, I’d rather see you whip out one of those old school dance recital poses than the invisible table. I mean, what is your hand resting on? Nothing! There is nothing there. So knock it off already.
While they are doing all of this taking of photos and practicing of poses, the veterans are puttering around in their official Clippers terry robes with their names embroidered on them.
I’m not sure if the robe thing is an every year thing or just a last year thing, but the veterans have them, and the rookies don’t.
I certainly appreciated Kelsey going the extra mile with the slippers and the socks.
Paging Hugh Hefner, you’re needed on set.
Speaking of robes, let’s discuss Leiana. Leiana who spent most of the trotting around in a little magenta/purplish robe like a Victoria’s Secret model backstage before the big show. (I happen to enjoy magenta. It’ts my favorite color, so whatever she wants to do in that robe is a-ok with me.) Leiana recently got engaged to a young man named Adam who she loves very much. (Or maybe it was Alex. It was definitely something with an A.) I knew I should’ve written this down.
Congratulations! They are getting hitched in September of next year, and so far, her mom is doing most of the ground work for the wedding. Smart girl. Weddings are a pain in the butt.
Moving on…this here is Brianna. Just between you and me, I have beef with Brianna.
I have beef with Brianna, because she’s a ringer, and nobody will admit it. This girl showed up at auditions like she’d been through it a million times. Went through it like a champ. Danced with confidence. Behaved like she was actually enjoying the audition process.
I was more than a little suspicious, and went directly home after the open call, to look through all my files and figure out where this girl came from.
I did not find her. I asked Audrea, but even Audrea didn’t give up the goods.
So at the photo shoot, I marched right up to Brianna and asked what other pro teams shed been on. Do you know what that girl said to me? Looked me right in the eye and said NONE. Told me she’d just graduated from high school.
That’s your story, huh? Ok fine, if that’s how you’re going to be. But I’m on to you, sister. I’m going to find you out. And then I’m going to tell everyone how you’ve been dancing professionally in the European basketball league or whatever for the last five years.
Meanwhile, take a look at Brianna with Karissa.
The resemblance isn’t close enough to be a “separated at birth” situation, but I feel like both of them need to have a conversation with Mom and Dad. I would not be surprised at all if it was like that movie where the parents had been married and had kids but then they divorced and they hated each other, so each one of them took a child and they never spoke to each other again…until the girls ran into each other at summer camp.
(Wait a sec…I think that was “The Parent Trap.” Whatever. Still valid.)
I am extremely excited that two of my former ChivaGirls, Natalie, and Traci, have joined the team this year.
Natalie, if you may remember is a “reality tv starrrrr.” She was on one season or another of Survivor, and FYI, that whole experience completely wrecked her metabolism, if you really want to know the truth. (The only reason I know this is because I was shameless eavesdropping on her a while back.) She doesn’t usually talk about it unless you ask. She’s not one of those annoying “I’ve been on tv, so now I’m SOMEBODY types” that annoy the crap out of me. I’ve never asked her about this because I refuse to be a little Natalie fangirl, but I do have questions. I’ve heard a little about how she just sort of fell into it. She was 18 or 19 and said why the heck not? This was a few years ago, before reality shows got wise and started actively recruiting professional cheerleaders/dancers/ice girls.
She’s a great girl, and a great dancer, that Natalie. She’s good people. That’s what’s important about her.
Traci was the very last person to do her individual photo, and so she was the last one to spend quality time staring at the ceiling. Did I tell you about this? No? Ok, so there is a giant ceiling fan in the studio. At some point, Audrea turned it on, to give the girls’ hair a little bit of life. (Note to self: next year, bring small fan for hair-wafting purposes.) In order to get the exact right amount of breeze to lift, but not actually disturb the hair, the Clippette had to be very precisely positioned beneath the fan.
And as morning turned into afternoon, the angle of the sun changed, creating a strobe-like effect on the dancer’s lower body, so there was that to account for as well. So there was a lot of this going on during the shot.
It’s a wonder nobody jacked up their neck.
So Traci stared at the ceiling for a while, and then had a photo taken, and that was the end of the solo photos.
She got out of the way so the camera guys could reset their equipment for a wide shot. Meanwhile, all the girls were changing into their outfits for the team photo. They also changed into the less-frightening red boots.
There is some rhyme and reason as to where people are placed in the group photo. But I wasn’t playing close enough attention to know what it was. They somehow establish the girls in three rows, and then there was some shuffling around in order to achieve the perfect composition. You have to take the goldilocks approach and move people around until it’s “just right.”
I don’t know how the girls in the middle row were chosen, but I felt sorry for them. Nobody ever wants to be a kneeler. It hurts. Sometimes a lot.
Strike that, I do know why they were in the middle row, and I guess now they know to be a little nicer next time they see me. (Ha ha, wouldn’t that be the best? “Kellie, you cheated me out of the last spot in the lot. I had to park on the street and I didn’t have any change for the meter. For that, you’re in the middle row. Shannon, you blocked me on Twitter last week. Get over there next to Kellie. Mwhahahahahahaha…”)
The team shot is always fun because everyone is SO ready to be finished with the whole production. The dancers are usually a little punchy due to lack of food. That’s why this sort of thing happens:
Usually by the time the team shot is ready to go, the dancers have solid plans (and reservations!) for wherever they’re going to load up on carbs afterward. I heard a lot of conversation about Olive Garden’s Endless Pasta Bowl.
Glad it’s over! Can we eat now?
But now it has a been a few weeks, and some of the results of the shoot have been revealed. The team photo came out the next day. The first set of headshots just came out the other day. Click here to check out the team. I couldn’t be prouder, which makes no sense because I didn’t give birth to any of these girls. I wasn’t one of the judges who put them on the team. I didn’t do the hair, the makeup, the styling, or the photography. But I am proud nonetheless. Love these girls. Can’t wait for the season to start!
