Monday Morning Cheerleader: Brandi of the Houston Texans

By Steve Mazzucchi
Esquire

She may be a rookie pom-pom shaker, but Week Three’s expert has plenty to say about getting better angles than the referee, recovering from bonehead plays, and the secret success behind the color of a football jersey.

Talk about a seesaw battle. All nine scores in yesterday’s Texans-Jaguars clash resulted in lead changes. And while Jacksonville’s last touchdown came with a full fourteen minutes left, Houston squandered its final three possessions in a 31-24 loss with two punts, a touchdown negated by an offensive pass-interference penalty, and a goal-line fumble. We asked Brandi, a skydiving, weight-pumping Louisiana native, for her take on the Texans’ last stand, the key to a turnaround (“It’s about time we put it together”), and her not-so-ho-hum day job (“I run a sixteen-bed neurological rehabilitation center — a very courageous group”).

ESQUIRE: Rough loss. What was the team’s biggest problem on the field?

BRANDI: It’s hard to pin down one thing. I thought we put in a good effort, but we made a lot of simple mistakes here and there. The pass-interference call that cost us a touchdown and the fumble that cost us the game really stand out.

ESQ: What was going through your mind during that fumble, with just two minutes left on the clock?

B: Oh, wow — a lot of emotions. We challenged the call. I’m not sure if that was wishful thinking or nerves, but I just knew there wasn’t indisputable evidence. Waiting for that ref to come back, I was biting my nails I was so nervous. The fans made their opinions very clear, but it’s hard to say if they were upset about the call or the play in general. A fumble at the goal line is a sticky situation; no one likes to be there. We’ll move on from that. Hopefully we learned something from it.

ESQ: Going into the game, the Texans were 7-2 when wearing their Battle Red uniforms. Do you think the color makes a difference?

B: There’s been a lot of research about that. In college I studied psychology, and we did a study about whether the color of a team’s jersey affects a referee’s calls. We found that a dark-colored jersey, like black, is associated with being the bad guy, so you may get more flags than a team wearing white jerseys. But winning in red uniforms, I think that’s probably a coincidence.

ESQ: Maurice Jones-Drew, whom Jaguars cheerleader Kelli Schaible told us last week was a fantasy-football stud, rushed for 119 yards and three TDs. How can the Texans bottle him up when they face the Jags again in Week Thirteen?

B: That’s a tough one. I have to give credit where credit is due. He’s good. He’s fast. We need to fill those holes and not let him get that initial break. Once he gets through to the secondary, it’s tough to catch him.

ESQ: Did you see any encouraging signs from the Texans?

B: I thought Matt Schaub came out more aggressive — it was encouraging to see him move out of the pocket and run if necessary. Andre Johnson, we love him — he’s a favorite. And Steve Slaton is ready to break out — I think we’re going to see more and more from him. We need balance in our offense, and he’ll do that for us.

ESQ: Got a fantasy sleeper for next week?

B: Jacoby Jones. Johnson keeps the defense guessing, and when opposing teams double-team him it opens up opportunities for Schaub’s other options. Jones has two touchdowns in his last two games.

ESQ: While we’re dropping names, your squad has three Ashleys, identical twins Larisa and Marisa, a Randi, a Candy, and a Brandi. Ever get mixed up?

B: Well, the three Ashleys go by their last names. Larisa and Marisa, some of the girls who’ve been on the squad a long time can tell the difference, but I can’t. I just say, “Hey, Twin!” or “Larisa!” and judge by the girl’s face if that’s right or wrong. With Randi, Candy, and Brandi, we just have to listen a little closer. But when I go to appearances with Candy or Randi, I can feel people looking at us funny, like, “Come on, are those really you all’s names?” We get a Sandy and a Mandy, that’ll be half the squad.

ESQ: Before the season, a lot of people were again saying this was going to be the year the Texans finally broke through and made the playoffs. Did they over-hype the team?

B: I wouldn’t say we’re over-hyped. We have the potential — that’s what the hype is about. It’s just about tapping into it. We’re still a relatively new team, but it’s about time we put it together and make it happen.

ESQ: The team’s 1-2 and at home against the Raiders next week. Is that a must-win game?

B: It’s a must-win for me. I would love to go 2-2, get back to .500, and go from there. I don’t think the season’s over if we don’t win, and I wouldn’t discount the Raiders — they’re a good team — but this is it. No more losing at home.