Monday Morning Cheerleader: Chelsea of the Redskins

After a heart-stopping primetime win over the hated Cowboys, the sideline co-captain says it’s all about the new coach, the new QB… and golden pants.

By Steve Mazzucchi
Esquire

The phrases “Washington Redskins” and “offseason champions” do not look out of place sharing a sentence. Owner Dan Snyder’s penchant for acquiring big names for big money, only to see them underperform, goes back a decade by now. Naturally, critics licked their chops when the team followed a 4-12 season by trading for Donovan McNabb — all 33 years of him.

And yet, for one night anyway, that move looks smarter than, say, handing an $8 million signing bonus to Deion Sanders. Teaming with new coach Mike Shanahan and a serious defense, McNabb avoided mistakes, watched Deangelo Hall run back a fumble for a TD, and raised his arms when Tony Romo’s last-second scoring pass was negated for holding. Savoring the not-so-pretty 13-7 win was Redskins fifth-year cheerleader Chelsea, a lifelong fan who’s kept her family’s faith (“My dad’s dad was going to get rid of his season tickets, and then I made the team”). Also the co-host of local NBC show Inside the Redskins, she was happy to kick off Esquire.com’s season of Monday Morning Cheerleader with her thoughts on how Week One’s Sunday Night Football might be just the beginning…

ESQUIRE: Let’s get right to the play of the game: What were you thinking when Redskins cornerback Deangelo Hall scored at the very end of the half?

CHELSEA: Even before the game, when Portis, Cooley, and McNabb came out, the sheer volume of the stadium was insane. I’ve never heard it that loud. I was in the end zone for that play, and we couldn’t even hear ourselves cheering. Did you see his little forward roll? I need to teach him a back flip. Deangelo’s my co-host on Inside the Redskins — I’m sure he’ll be happy on Tuesday.

ESQ: And then one of the stranger endings to a game, with the apparent TD and then the penalty. How’d that rank as an emotional roller coaster?

C: The whole fourth quarter, I was just taking huge deep breaths and crossing my fingers. When Romo throws that ball, everyone drops to their knees, drops their pompoms thinking, “That did not just happen in the last three seconds.” Then we see the ref make the call. Definitely the weirdest ending I’ve seen in my five years.

ESQ: The big stories this offseason were getting Mike Shanahan out of retirement, getting Donovan McNabb from the Eagles, and getting Albert Haynesworth to pass a conditioning test. Which was the biggest factor in last night’s win?

C: Obviously McNabb, coming back from his injury, he played very well, and his energy — his legacy — is super exciting. He’s definitely a leader, and I just hope he can stay injury-free. Shanahan, he knows what he’s doing. He’s so serious, everyone really seems to respect him, and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the season holds.

ESQ: And Haynesworth?

C: I’m hoping he keeps getting in shape, and if they can work it out, bring it on.

ESQ: Dallas had 12 penalties for 91 yards. Even Shanahan said the crowd noise contributed. And the crowd noise starts with the cheerleaders. So basically you guys won the game, right?

C: You can say that if you want, for sure! Shanahan mentioned how loud the stadium was, how awesome the fans were — Dallas could barely hear their snap counts. It was really cool that he handed it out to the crowd and the cheerleaders pumping them up.

ESQ: McNabb also mentioned the crowd. Think he’s excited to be free of abusive Philly fans?

C: I would think so. The Redskins fans are the best in NFL. That’s all I can comment on. Have you heard that the players voted the Redskins cheerleaders the hottest squad in the NFL? Why wouldn’t you want to be at a Redskins game?

ESQ: This one featured four scores surrounded by a lot of stalled drives. What do cheerleaders do when it seems like nothing is happening on the field?

C: Normally, we’re dancing. We force a smile and dance through it when something bad happens. I don’t want to say it’s tough to stay positive — it’s harder to get the crowd to stay positive. Forty girls screaming in a 90,000-person stadium can only do so much. You know, you’re forgetting the most important thing…

ESQ: The golden pants?

C: Yes! I loved it. It really made them stand out. Bringing back the pants from the sixties and seventies was definitely cool. We actually have a bright yellow uniform, and I want to put that on so we can all match.

ESQ: The most controversial play of the weekend was Detroit Lions receiver Calvin Johnson’s game-winning TD that wasn’t. What did you think?

C: That’s crazy! I definitely thought he had possession — two hands on the ball with both feet on the ground and Johnson still had it when his body hit the ground. It looked to me like he slammed it down to get up and celebrate! That sucks it didn’t come back in their favor. I’m sure they want a rematch so bad right now.

ESQ: You hosted the making of the swimsuit calendar. So if a man happens to run into a sunbathing Redskins cheerleader, what’s the best thing he could say at that exact moment?

C: Definitely something funny. The harder I laugh, the better, probably. A lot of us, when guys find out we’re cheerleaders, they want to talk football. That’s not the way to go. And I can’t even tell you how many times we get proposed to on the side of the field, by men who’ve been drinking a little too much. At least act like meeting a cheerleader isn’t the coolest thing in your life.

ESQ: With this win, you’re 25 percent of the way to last year’s total after one game. How far can the team go this year?

C: I mean, I’m a cheerleader. We’re definitely going to the Super Bowl.