Tuesday Morning Cheerleader: Jordan of the Falcons

By Shawn Donnelly
Esquire

After heartbreak on Monday Night Football, some honest analysis from the Atlanta sideline on why Matt Ryan shouldn’t get the MVP, what’s with her coach punting on fourth down, when Brett Favre should hang ’em up, and just how intimidating Drew Brees can be to arch-rivals.

The alleged Sportsman human person of the Year throws two picks at the line of scrimmage in the fourth quarter and you pretty much figure everything tied up: number-one seed, home-field advantage, bragging rights, one too many “Who Dat?” puns. And so the raucous Georgia Dome crowd pretty much did. And then: 90 joyless yards, a 17-14 loss, an eight-game streak snapped, and one more defending champion back in the playoffs.

Alas, perhaps the Falcons can find a silver lining in their late-game nosedive with the help of their rookie cheerleader, Jordan. It is still the holidays (right?), and she’s been brightening the spirits of Atlanta since she was five. Seriously: she twirled a baton at the dome’s opening night. “I remember thinking, this place is huge and everyone is staring at me,” Jordan told us from the locker room after Monday night’s game. “I still think that sometimes.” Herein, the ER tech diagnoses her squad’s evening.

ESQUIRE: What’s going through your mind as Drew Brees is marching his team 90 yards down the field with six minutes left for a go-ahead touchdown?

JORDAN: I was praying that his receivers would drop his passes. He intimidates me as a fan. I think he might have intimidated some of our players, too. He just knows how to get it done when it counts.

ESQ: What about the call by Falcons coach Mike Smith to punt on fourth-and-six from his own 43-yard-line with 2:52 left. Smart?

JOR: I was actually hoping that they weren’t going to punt and that they’d go for it, but then I figured Mike Smith knew what he was doing. That’s the kind of night it was — really exciting, and then it all went bad at the end. I’m still upset. It’s like a bad dream.

ESQ: Looked like there were a few Saints fans in the Dome.

JOR: It irritated me. There are a lot of Saints fans in Atlanta. They are crazy. And they really get on my nerves.

ESQ: Your Falcons have 2-13 Carolina at home next Sunday, with a chance to lock up the NFC and home-field advantage through the playoffs. Confident?

JOR: I think our players will be a little more relaxed. I think playing the Saints, they wanted it so bad, it made them a little nervous. They’ll be ready to go against the Panthers. We beat them before and we can beat them again. I see us blowing them out.

ESQ: Falcons running back Michael Turner picked a bad time to have his first fumble of the year: on the one-yard-line.

JOR: I couldn’t believe it. I was sure we were going to score. It was very un-Michael Turner-like. But it happens, even when you’re a great player. Better now than in the playoffs.

ESQ: Matt Ryan’s numbers: 15-for-29, 148 yards, and one touchdown. Not so good?

JOR: He wasn’t so icy last night. Every player has an off night, and he had one.

ESQ: Roddy White talked a lot of trash on the Twitter before the game, calling New Orleans the “Aint’s” and overrated. Bad move, in retrospect?

JOR: He’s the best receiver in the league, but that wasn’t wise. I think he was a little too excited before the game and he put something out there for the world to see. But people have done worse things on Twitter. I think he realizes he probably shouldn’t have done that.

ESQ: So who do you see in the Super Bowl?

JOR: I see us playing the Patriots. They’ll be tough. They’re playing really well right now.

ESQ: What if the Falcons don’t make it?

JOR: Then I don’t want to watch.

ESQ: You’ll probably have to play the Saints again, in the playoffs.

JOR: I know. Which, in a way, makes it better that we lost to them last night. Because now we won’t have to try to beat them three times in one season, which is really hard to do. Also, I think a loss might be good for us before the playoffs. We hadn’t lost in so long, I think we sort of forgot what it felt like. This way, we won’t take anything for granted.

ESQ: Who’s your MVP pick?

JOR: As much as I’d like to say Matt Ryan, I’ll go with Michael Vick. He’s had a great year.

ESQ: Speaking of the Eagles, they play tonight against the Vikings. Who do you like?

JOR: Eagles. Especially if Favre doesn’t play.

ESQ: Do you think Favre will be playing?

JOR: I highly doubt it. I don’t think he’s passed his concussion test. He needs to give his body a rest. That was a really tough hit he took in Minnesota last week. Personally, I think it’s time for him to retire.

ESQ: Also a coupla bowl games tonight. Insight Bowl pits Missouri against Iowa. Who do you like?

JOR: We’ve got a couple guys from Missouri on our defense, so I’ll say Mizzou.

ESQ: Champs Sports Bowl, West Virginia versus North Carolina State.

JOR: West Virginia. I think they’ve got more talent.

ESQ: On your team bio, you say you’re a fan of Burberry Brit cologne on men. Other than smelling nice, anything a man can do to get your attention?

JOR: I’d say not being intimidated by me. For some reason, a lot of guys are intimidated by me. So I’d say just coming up to me and talking gets you points.

[Jordan at AtlantaFalcons.com]