PCB Field Trip: ChivaGirl Final Auditions



Final auditions for the 2009 ChivaGirls took place on Wed, Feb 18th. (Yes, I know that was three weeks ago. If it weren’t for this pesky day job getting in the way, I’d have finished this a lot sooner. )

If you missed prelims, you can read all about them here. All of the photos from prelims and finals are right here.

I drove down to the Home Depot Center that afternoon, confident that I knew exactly where I was going. When I got there, I found out that there was an LA Galaxy game that night and there was a lot going on in the parking lot. I told the parking attendant why I was there, and she directed me to Lot 13. What? That’s miles away from the Velodrome!

Get out of my way, lady. I know what I’m doing. I hit the gas, drove right by Lot 13 and proceeded to the Velodrome, where there was plenty of parking. Ha! Did you see all those idiots in Lot 13? Suckers!

(Sidebar: I wonder why the Galaxy doesn’t have a dance team? Switch the red and white for and blue and gold and viola! The ChivaGirls are now the Galaxy Girls It’s not the first time a dance team ever did double duty for multiple teams. (Where is the Galaxy suggestion box? I need to write this down.)

I parked, got out of my car, and immediately noticed that there was something weird going on. There were an awful lot of people around, and none of them looked like future ChivaGirls. Many of them were carrying bicycles. They didn’t look like the sort who would conveniently schedule practice during auditions, so they could ogle all of the dancers.

Inside the building, there was definitely something wrong. Aside from all the cyclists zipping around the perimeter, there were two full on knee pads-and-everything volleyball games in progress. I got the feeling they had all been there for a while. It didn’t look like any of them planned to exit the building in the near future.

Hmmm. This was certainly a puzzle. Was I out of the loop? Had the auditions been rescheduled?

My first thought was “Oh, no! Does Aimee know about this?” So I whipped out my phone and called her to report that dozens of crazed volleyballers were squatting in the Velodrome.

If I had thought about it for even half a second, I suppose I would’ve realized that as the Director of the team, Aimee was the one who booked the location for the auditions. She would of course know if there was some complicated activity going on beforehand.

If the venue had changed, she’s probably the one who changed it. She wasn’t going to answer the phone all freaked out, like “Volleyball! Oh no! Auditions are in less than an hour. Sasha, you have to get rid of all those people!” And then I’d have to get a bicycle pump or something and chase them all away.

(I have been known, at times, to overestimate the importance of my role in certain events.)

Long story short: finals were scheduled for the tennis pavilion, not the Velodrome. Duh.

I got in my car and drove back around to the front, where the parking attendant directed me to – guess where? – Lot 13. I guess that made me a sucker too. I cheated and parked in 10 though. 10 was a little bit closer to the building. I was still a bit twinge-y in my ankle and didn’t want to walk any farther than absolutely necessary. (If you missed out on the whole sprained ankle thing, all you need to know is that there was an small “incident” at prelims that left me with only one working foot. That’s all I care to say about that particular topic.)

When I got to the tennis pavilion I realized – thank you, Lord – there was a ramp to the door instead of the five hundred flights of stairs at the Velodrome. Maybe some things were going to go my way tonight.

Inside, Aimee and the camera crew were getting set up. (There’s a crew filming the ChivaGirls for an upcoming reality show.) The judges’ table was set up on one side of the room. Instead of one long table, there three or five small desks, kind of like the ones you see in elementary school. But bigger, of course.



Nicole and Lauren


Liz, Emi, and Sandra


Many of the girls had arrived early and were busy warming up. Mr. John Peters was also in the house. Judging this time. Not teaching. If you ask me, that kind of sucks. With regular “I have never seen you before and therefore am not biased at all,” judges, you could miss a small step and maybe nobody would notice. Or maybe they’d think one of the other girls messed up instead of you. But when one of the judges is the choreographer, you are sadly outta luck. That guy’s not going to miss a thing. Dang.



Gloria, Aimee, Mr. John Peters, and Lisa

I had arrived early enough to scope out the situation beforehand. It was going to be something of a challenge, photography-wise. The lighting was a bit dim, and the wall opposite the judges was nothing more than a series of glass doors and windows. I worried that I would wind up at the end of the night with 50 photos of my own reflection, and another 50 of the light from my camera flash.

However, I wasn’t the one with the major challenges. The dancers had a bigger problem to deal with. The tennis pavilion is somewhat tent-like and vulnerable to the elements. I imagine in the summers, you can open all the doors and enjoy the weather outside, without actually being outside. But on this particular evening, nobody appreciated the cold weather creeping indoors. All of the ladies were zipped up from ankles to eyeballs. I put on a sweater over my short sleeves and was fine. Then again, I wasn’t wearing a little two-piece audition outfit. I really felt for the dancers. For them, it was going to be a bit like tap dancing nekkid in Antarctica.

On a side note, Juicy Couture must’ve made a bloody fortune on those velour track suits.

At one point, Aimee deputized me to help out with the photos. The girls were instructed to line up on one side of the room, where Gloria was taking Polaroid head shots. After the Polaroid, they had to come to the other end of the room, where I was shooting individual photos. Those photos would be posted on the Chivas USA site when the team was announced the next day.

This is how cold it was in the room: the girls would do the Polaroid, put their warm-ups back on (for the five second walk to the other end of the room), whip the warm-ups off for a quick photo or two, and then jump back into the sweats and zip them up as far as they could go.

A couple of girls tried to get sneaky after the Polaroid. Instead of coming directly to me, they’d try to huddle down for a few minutes to get warm. I don’t know who they thought they were fooling, but it ain’t yours truly. I can see you over there! Don’t be a weenie. Get over here and take this photo like a man!

After the first 9 or 10 girls, I resorted to “escorting” them across the room for the second photo. Not that they wouldn’t have made it there on their own, but I’m a “rip the band aid off” kind of gal. Yeah, you’re freezing your buns off, but it’s only for a minute. Just get it over with.

It didn’t take long to finish with the photos. I like to think that my “warm air is for losers” approach helped move things along. There were a couple of snafus – Gloria ran out of Polaroid film and I missed getting one of the girls, but for the most part, it went well.

    Let’s talk about Gloria for a minute. Who is Gloria? She’d been at prelims too, to help tabulate the scores. Gloria, Gloria, Gloria. I knew I’d seen her somewhere. But where? So far, I know she was on the Beijing Aoshen Olympian (NBA D-league) dance team. But I know I’ve seen her somewhere else too…Hm….

    (Note to self: figure that out.)

I was standing off to the side, minding my own business when – holy crap. Lisa Estrada popped up out of nowhere. One minute she wasn’t there. The next minute, she was. I bet this is what the natives felt like when Captain Kirk beamed down from the Enterprise.

Lisa Estrada – for those who don’t know – is the Director of the Los Angeles Laker Girls. I’m sure I’ve previously mentioned my ongoing mission to cover the Laker Girls for the blog. I might’ve even called it “stalking” a time or two. The Laker Girls have been a tough nut to crack.

Here was an opportunity to talk to The Chief Chick-In-Charge Herself.

Oy. What was I gonna do?

I had to say something, right? This might be the only time I ever saw Lisa Estrada in person. I had to at least introduce myself. It’s part of the job. I was uncomfortably aware, however, that I could really screw things up for this whole entire blog. No Laker Girl coverage EVER. I was skeered to talk to her. Most of this is in my head. But I was still skeered.

This reminds me of the time I went scampering across a football field in Oxnard, chasing after Kelli Finglass, Director of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. As I was running after her, half of me was saying “Just do it, honey. This is probably the only chance you’ll ever have to introduce yourself and show that you are not psychotic.” The other half of me was rolling her eyes, saying “For God’s sake, Sasha. You’re a grown woman. Where’s your dignity?”

Apparently I had none. But I did meet Kelli Finglass and she is a lovely woman.

Now history was repeating. I didn’t know if Lisa was staying or what, so if I was going to do this, I had to do it right away. I got ready to scurry over there. Feets don’t fail me now!

But then I stopped. What exactly was I going to say to this woman?

I couldn’t run over there and be all “Hi-Lisa-My-Name-Is-Sasha-I’m-from-the-Pro-Cheerleader-Blog-I-don’t-know-if-you’ve-heard-of-it-Nice-to-meet-you-I-promise-I’m-not-a-creep-See-don’t-I-look-like-a-nice-respectable-person?-Can-I-come-to-a-game- and-do-some-behind-the-scenes-coverage?-How-about-a-rehearsal? -How-about-auditions?-You-tell-me-where-to-sit-and-I-promise-not-to-move-at-all-or-make-any-sound-whatsoever-You-won’t-hear-one-peep-from-me-no-ma’am-Not-one.”

She could very well look down her nose at me at tell me to get lost. I knew she wouldn’t, but still. That lady with the chimp who went crazy and attacked her friend never saw that coming either.

Not that I’m comparing Lisa to a chimp. People are unpredictable, is what I’m getting at. And so are animals.

I decided to head her way and hope for the best.

Then I started thinking about the Laker Girls, and the Laker games in general. As usual, my overactive imagination (and outright narcissism) got the best of me.

What if I accidentally trip Kobe and he breaks both arms and both legs and all of a sudden I’m all over the news as the person who single handedly destroyed the Los Angeles Lakers. I would be universally hated. Publicly reviled. People I work with would throw things at me.

Plus, there are lots of celebrities at Laker games. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t care about gawking at celebrities. To be honest, they aren’t all that interesting. But what if I dropped my camera on Jack Nicholson’s head?

What if I stepped on Victoria Beckham’s foot and destroyed her $5,000 Manolos?

What if I was pointing at something and accidentally clotheslined Lindsey Lohan?

I could get yelled at. Sued. Taken out back and shot.
Lindsey Lohan’s mom is scary!

Only consider the almost unlimited potential for catastrophe!

Then again, I’m in no danger of weaseling my way into a Lakers game, so perhaps I should just calm down about the whole thing.

I decided not to talk to Lisa. Status quo was ok by me.

Incidentally, on a somewhat related note, Amazon.com completely sold out of the Laker Girls movie. They’ve been out of stock for almost two weeks. How many copies of this thing are you people buying???

Right about then is when I overheard three girls talking about how they had to go to Target at the last minute to get some trunks for finals. I guess Target doesn’t carry much in the way of black trunks, so some girls had to go to more than one store.

In my head I was thinking: Let me get this straight. On Sunday, you had a complete outfit for auditions. Today is Wednesday and now half of your stuff is missing? All three of you? Listen, unless all of you live together on a houseboat and it caught on fire and sank to the bottom of the ocean, taking all of your clothes with it, I can’t think of a real good excuse for losing your bottoms right before finals. It’s not like you took them off on the way home and left them somewhere.

Then Laura helpfully pointed out that everyone had been instructed to wear black trunks or shorts to finals, instead of their regular bottoms. Some people didn’t own any and had to go out buy a pair.

Oh.

Well in that case, never mind.

Before I completely change the subject, I have to raise my hand and ask “what is up with that?” I’ve seen auditions where the dancers were made to wear identical outfits, or dress in black. (This is so the girls who shelled out for a particularly fetching outfit don’t have an unfair advantage over everyone else.). But why make them wear black on the bottom and not on the top? There must be a reason for this. I just had no idea what it might be. Why just the bottoms?

No, really. WHY?

I didn’t have much time to ponder that, as it was time for the audition to start. I’ll put that on my to-do list to figure out later. Right after the Gloria situation.

The first item on the agenda was to have the girls do the dance they’d learned on Sunday. You remember the song.

“…La la la get Krazy. La la la get Krazy. La la la get Krazy. La la la get Krazy….”

They performed in groups of three. The original plan was for each group to do the routine twice, but the judges decided that once was enough. This is how the process worked for the dancers:

    1. Sweats off
    2. Dance real fast
    3. Sweats back on

Wax on, wax off, Daniel-son.
(That doesn’t have anything to do with anything. I just felt like saying it.)

I wish I’d brought an electric blanket or a hot water bottle. Something to help a sista out.




Finals are when auditions get really tough. Once you whittle it down to such a small group of women, they’ve all got similar levels of talent, presentation, etc. It becomes much more difficult to thin the herd, so to speak. Everyone knows the dance so the judges have to look at other things. Technique. Experience. Polish. Charisma. Charm. Fitness. Maturity. Overall appearance. And of course , you’re looking for some diversity. From what I’ve observed, most teams like to mix it up. Some blondes. Some brunettes. Some tall girls. Some short girls. Girls of different ethnicities and cultural backgrounds. Girls at different stages in their lives. It keeps things interesting.

Having said all of that, the judges didn’t seem to be struggling with their scores. They were all in a great mood. Somebody had brought brownies, and baked goods make people happy. The judges were pretty relaxed. This wasn’t one of those auditions where the judges look at you stone-faced like “impress me or die.”


The judges


Meanwhile, I was having some issues. (I know, what else is new, right?)

The guy with the video camera had the primo spot for filming the action. I sat on the floor in front of him for a bit, but it was skewing the perspective in my photos. (Nobody wants to see a bunch of nostril shots.) After a while, I decided to ease in behind the video guy and shoot my photos around him. He was kind of crouched over, so it seemed like a feasible plan.

One thing I didn’t realize was that spot where I was trying to go was right next to Lisa Estrada. Oh snap! What now?

I figure this was the Lord’s way of saying “get on with it already.” Someone once said “When God wants you to do something; He gives you a certain amount of time to get it done. Eventually, if you can’t get take care of business, He’ll take over.”

I was afraid if I didn’t say anything to Lisa, the Good Lord would see fit to drop kick me right at her feet.

The Time Had Come. So I gathered up my courage and said hello.

I have no recollection of what was said after that. All I know is it was quick, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t say anything funny, fascinating, or clever. I’m sorry, ok? It was scary for me. The more I try to be normal and professional, the more I sound like a complete idiot. I am convinced of it.

My impression was that Lisa is a nice lady. I didn’t quite get a read on her, but she seems like good people. I’m still a bit intimidated though. She is a very “together” kind of person, and I SO am not. Unfortunately, I’m about 85% nonsense.

(Sigh) Anywho…



Mandi


Serena


Erica


Brittany, Tiffany, and Nicole


Brittany


Dalila and Amy



After everyone had performed in groups of three, the judges called them back to dance in different groups. They were bigger groups this time, five or six at a time. I’m not sure how they decided how to group the girls. It didn’t look like they were doing all the blondes together, all the brunettes together, etc. One thing I did notice though is the last few groups were mostly veterans with on a couple of new girls mixed in. I think it was to see if the newbie could bring it like the vets. And I guess also to see how hard the vets would fight to keep their spot on the team.

(Please keep in mind that I’ve never judged an audition and am most likely talking out of my rear end.)



Sandra, Alheli, and Serena


Mandi


Amy, Erica, and Liz


Ariel, Tiffany, Marie, and Lauren



The very last part of the audition was freestyle dance. All of the girls lined up and each one had few eight-counts to dance on her own. Freestyle is an opportunity to show off a bit. If you have the highest kicks or the best turns, or can flip from one end of the room to the other, this was the time to do all of that. It also shows what you can do when you don’t have to focus on remembering choreography. You can play around with the music and let your personality come out a little bit.



This part was pretty fun to watch. The music cut off during one girls turn. She didn’t miss a beat, just kept dancing until the song came back on again. Nicely done.

Psst! Lemme let you in on a secret. By this time in the process, the judges have pretty well decided who they want on the squad. This portion of the audition was basically a final chance for the “iffy” girls to influence the final thumbs up/thumbs down vote.



Lauren


Jebbell


Alheli


After freestyle, Aimee gathered the girls around to discuss the next steps in the process. She explained that the names of the 2009 ChivaGirls would be posted online by 5pm the next day. The newly-selected team had no time to waste. They’d jump right into mini camp the following weekend. The first home game is scheduled for March 21st. Yikes – that’s right around the corner!



And then it was over. The girls packed up their stuff and headed out the door. Some stopped on the way to thank the judges for the opportunity. Okay, on paper that might sound like a blatant suck up. But it was a pretty smart thing to do. It shows confidence and good manners and leaves the judges with a positive impression of you. (As long as you don’t act like a total suck-up while doing it.)

After the dancers left, the judges gathered their notes together and went to the office to talk it out. It was sort of anticlimactic.

I went back to the parking lot – and promptly forgot where I’d left my car. You know how that goes. You look around for about five minutes, and then you start to get a bit agitated.

This is where I left it, right?

Or maybe it’s the next lot over.

Or did I park all the way the other side of the building?

What am I going to do if I can’t find my car?

How will I get home?

How will I get to work tomorrow?

What if someone stole it?

What if I forgot to set the brake and it rolled down the hill, through a brick wall, and out onto the freeway???

And so you walk up and down the rows of cars, all casual-like, because you don’t want to look like some maniac who can’t remember where she left the car. This isn’t a needle in a haystack, for pete’s sake. Its 2, tons of metal, plastic and a variety other man made materials. How do you LOSE as 2,000 pound vehicle?

I was about 3 seconds away from a full on meltdown, when I finally found my car. Probably 10 minutes had gone by. It felt like hours.

***

At 5pm the next day, I went to cdchivausa.com. The names hadn’t been posted yet. I hit refresh., but nothing changed.

5:15 – Refresh. Refresh. Nothing.

5:30 – Refresh. Refresh. Nothing.

5:45 – Still nothing. Now I was getting mad.

5:55 – Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh Refresh

The list of names finally appeared at 6pm. By then I was totally stressed out, never mind the girls waiting to see if they made the final cut!

For those of you who didn’t lose patience with me and go to the Chivas site to see for yourselves, I give you the 2009 ChivaGirls!

Ah, but wait! There’s a twist at the end of this particular story. Stay tuned. All will be revealed in the near future….



Row 1: Alheli, Amy, Ariel, Ashley, and Dalila
Row 2: Emi, Jebbell, Kelley, and Laura
Row3: Mandi, Marie, Megan, and Monique
Row 4: Nicole, Sandra, Serena, and Tiffany

PCB Field Trip: ChivaGirl Preliminary Auditions

ChivaGirl auditions started on Sunday Feb 15th at the Home Depot Center in Carson, which is a bit south of Los Angeles. I took tons of photos for you all so you can see how the process went. If you haven’t had a chance to look at them, you can do that right here




I was so excited to be invited because I was really really really looking forward to it. I love going to auditions. LOVE it.

(I’d love it even more if there were no cuts, but alas, that is the nature of the beast…)

One thing about auditions is they are crazy repetitive, but that’s actually one of the best things about the process. It’s a great opportunity to see new choreography, to see what the dancers are made of, to see familiar faces from other auditions and see how they’ve progressed, to see which dancers rise to the top of the pack, and of course it gives me a chance to work on my photography skills (such as they are).

I was particularly excited for these auditions because firstly, I (heart) the ChivaGirls and their director Aimee Edmundson. Secondly, I was hoping that Mr. John Peters would do the choreography, because Mr. John Peters is super-cool. And thirdly, the auditions were scheduled to take place in a building called the Velodrome. What’s a velodrome? Heck if I knew, but once I became aware of its existence, I was compelled to know what goes on inside.

Velodrome…It sounds like a place where mysterious and exciting things happen. As in “Welcome to the Velodrome, where cheerful elves make fairy dust out of rainbows and happy thoughts!”

On the other hand, the Velodrome could also be a place where dark, sinister things happen. Dancers check in, but they don’t check out. As in “Welcome to the Velodrome. Abandon all hope ye who enter here. (Kindly ignore the screams from the basement)”

Continued…

So on Sunday morning, I motored over to the Home Depot Center campus. There are several different venues on the premises, but some helpful person had posted arrows to guide cars in the right direction. When I got there, the nervous-looking girls standing around in track suits were also a good indication that I was in the right place.

I was heading inside, when veteran ChivaGirl Alana, drove into the lot.

When you see a veteran first thing in the morning on audition day, it is NEVER good news.

Alana, it seems, is planning to study abroad this year. And since you can’t be a ChivaGirl whilst living in another country, she is “taking a year off.” WhatEVER. That is no different from when your boyfriend says he wants to “take a break.” Shyeah. You know you’re never gonna see that dude again. We all know what happened when Ross and Rachel took a “break.”

I went inside and woohoo! Harris sister spotting! I love me some Harris sisters. But then, I looked a little farther down the table, and there’s Linette, another ChivaGirl veteran. That did not bode well.

On the one hand, she was wearing dance clothes. On the other hand, she was standing BEHIND the table. Linette retiring too? I told her this was completely unacceptable. She gave me the big old twinkly Linette smile with the dimples and everything. Like that was going to make it ok. I told her to talk to the hand, because the face ain’t listenin’.

So now I was in a MOOD. Because now I had to do a headcount and figure out who all else was flaking out on me.

Yeah, I take it personal when people retire on me. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: you veterans really need to tell me ahead of time if you’re not going to re-audition. You can’t just spring it on me. I’m a very sensitive person and I find this kind of surprise very upsetting. (Clippers Girls, this goes for you too especially. Consider yourselves warned.)

Thankfully, I didn’t see anymore veterans, so I opened the double doors and got my first look at…


The Velodrome

(Imagine the NFL theme music playing in the background.
Wrong sport, but whatever)

The Velodrome is a place where people in spandex, who take biking very seriously, go around and around and around in circles. It’s a big oval track that curves up in some places like the walls in a skate park. Picture a big wooden bowl with twisty sides and a flat bottom.

Random thought: I’ve never been to a roller derby, but this looked like a place where a roller derby might go down. That could be interesting.

You enter the Velodrome at the top, and step downward through the stands to the track. Barriers are in place to keep rowdy fans from jumping down on the track. Another set of barriers separate the track from the floor at the bottom. (I guess those barriers are meant to keep rowdy cyclists from jumping down on the floor…?)

The ChivaGirls audition would of course take place down on the floor. Duh. But there didn’t seem to be a direct path to get down there. This looked to be a serious problem. I was prepared to jump over the barrier if I had to, but that seemed a little extreme.

Then I heard someone call my name and saw my girl Kelley waving from the floor. She then explained to me that – get this – in order to get down there where she was, I’d have to walk down the hall and go through a secret door the ladies room.

THROUGH the ladies room, you say?

Riiiiight. That doesn’t sound shady at all.

I thought we were friends, Kelley, but you know what? You can talk to the hand too. I’ll find my own way down there.

Turns out I owe Kelley an apology for all the uncomplimentary things I said about her under my breath. She was right. You do have to go into the little girls room, where there’s a door that leads to a set of stairs. Those stairs end at another door that takes you outside of the building. Then you have to go along the sidewalk to another door, where you go back inside the building and down another set of stairs, and then up a little ramp and out onto the floor.

I’m not saying the person who designed this building was high at the time. I’m just saying that I do not understand the thought process behind it at all.

If nothing else, the design is horribly inefficient.

Down on the floor, the judges were chatting, and many of the aspiring ChivaGirls were warming up. The veterans were there, which I wasn’t expecting. I eyeballed them and came out with 9 veterans re-auditioning for a team of 17 to 20 dancers. If I were a newbie, I’d consider those pretty good odds.

Best part – two former Clippers girls were auditioning, Tiffany and Laura. Yesss! The two teams I (heart) most are ChivaGirls and Clippers Spirit. When they overlap, it makes me happy. Especially since Laura was one of the girls, and she was, is, and will always be, a freakin’ rock star.



Laura and Tiffany

Meanwhile, I had to find Aimee right away, because I had a little gift for her.

Sidebar: At some point during my formative years, I can’t remember exactly when – somebody, somewhere produced an obscure made-for-tv movie about the Laker Girls. All I remembered was that Tina Yothers was in it and she could not dance at all. Like, not even a little bit. And there was another girl who auditioned who was supposed to be a ballet dancer and she couldn’t dance either. Ballet or otherwise.

Anyway, at a Chivas USA Game last summer, I’d mentioned the movie to Aimee, and she’d revealed that she not only knew about the movie, she was in it.

She was IN the movie.
With Tina Yothers.
And the ballet chick.
Wearing MC Hammer pants.

We were in the ChivaGirls locker room at the time, and Ashley, one of the ChivaGirls, overheard our conversation. Ashley had recently been selected to the 2008-09 Laker Girls, so when she heard us discussing the Laker Girls, her ears perked up. (Not literally, of course). Ashley had never heard of the Laker Girls movie.

Ohmigawd, I had to fix that situation right away.

That night, I went home and scoured the internet for that movie. I really wanted to see Aimee doing the running man in purple and gold harem pants. I also thought it would be educational for Ashley to learn a little about the history of her new team. (I can’t believe they don’t sit all the Laker Girls down and force them to watch this movie as part of their initiation.)

I didn’t find anything on youtube or any of the other video sites, but shockingly, I DID find it on DVD on Amazon. It was only $6 y’all! I immediately ordered three copies. One for Aimee, one for Ashley, and one for myself. (You can get one right here.)

You have GOT to see this movie. It is so awesomely bad. Tina Yothers starts out as a rollerskating carhop somewhere in the Midwest. From there it just gets better and better.

All the major themes for cinematic excellence are represented here. A hero. A villain. Sibling rivalry. Adventure. Dance. Glamour. Romance. Ambition. Deceipt. Forgiveness. Fame and fortune. What it lacks in explosions and high speed chase scenes, it makes up for in big hair and belted leotards.

I could not wait to give the DVD to Aimee, so when I found her I presented it with a flourish. As if I’d done something extremely clever.

Mr. John Peters came over while I was talking to Aimee. Mr. John Peters is THE MAN when it comes to this type of choreography. Nobody can touch him. He knows right where the line is with this kind of dance. Big, but not too big. Sassy, but not trashy. Cute but not cutsie. The man knows the value of a well-placed kick or turn.



So he came over, cool hair and all, and revealed a deep dark secret: Not only was Aimee in the Laker Girl movie, but she was also in the movie Teen Witch.

Shut. Up. Teen Witch???

This is totally off-topic, but I have to reminisce for a moment. You HAVE seen Teen Witch, right? Not “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” I’m talking about the original, the first, the OG movie. Dorky girl finds out she’s a witch and uses her magical powers to transform herself into the most popular girl in school and snag the hunky captain of the football team.

That’s not even the best thing about this movie. The best thing is ….

…wait for it…

….it is a MUSICAL. Featured songs include “I like boys” and “I’m gonna be the most popular girl.”

“I like boys” features the cool girls who rule the school dancing around in the girls locker room. The lyrics go something like this: “I’m turning in my teddy bear for a leather mini skirt because I. LIKE. BOYS.”




There is also a rap number.

So. Awesome.

I have a whoooole new level of respect for Aimee. And for Mr. John Peters, who actually sang part of the chorus for me.

(I don’t know why I call him Mr. John Peters. I just do. I’m sure his pals call him John, or Peters, or Johnny P., or something.)

Still reeling after that revelation, I trotted off to get my camera stuff together. I was skipping along happily, when WHAM! Next thing I know, I’m on the floor. Had I been paying attention, I might have noticed the five-inch drop from the wooden layer to the concrete floor beneath it.

I landed on my hands and knees, which you might think is no big deal, except it made a really loud noise when my palms slapped down on the wooden floor. THWAP! So of course Aimee and Mr. John Peters, and God knows who else turned around, and I’m trying to jump up like “I’m okay, I’m okay, nothing to see here folks.” Only I can’t jump right up because my ankle kind of hurts, and the only thing worse than falling in the first place, is trying to get up and then falling again.



A sign would’ve been helpful.

I don’t know how it did it, but I managed to get up, all casual-like, and stroll over to a seat, where I took a few minutes to break into a nervous sweat, calm down, cool down, and evaluate myself for broken body parts.

All of my limbs were intact, so it was time to get to work. First order of business: get photos of all the dancers before the auditions. This has always been the hardest part for me, walking up to a total stranger like “hey, what’s up, can I take a picture?” So here’s how I handled it: I’d mosey on up to a group of girls and ask if any of them saw me fall on my face just now.




After that, it was time to start the auditions. Aimee welcomed everyone and thanked them for coming, and then Mr. John Peters began teaching the choreography. He had some helpers to assist him in demonstrating the dance: Linette, of course. Summer from the Charger Girls, and Laker Girls Jeri-Faye and Nicole.

FYI: there were Laker Girls, past and present, throughout this whole ChivaGirls experience. It was a bit shocking, as I have been scheming to ingratiate myself with the Laker Girls for several years now – with zero progress. But I will not give up. Some of my Clippers girls and ChivaGirls are over there, and I demand to know what they’re up to.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m obsessed with the Laker Girls, it just that the harder they make it for me, the more determined I am to infiltrate the entire organization. Um…on second thought, I probably shouldn’t be writing this in a public forum.

My point, anyway, is that this pro dance stuff is a small world. I’m starting to see a lot of familiar faces.

By the way, I’ve decided that I would also like to have a hyphenated name. Sasha-Faye? Sasha-Lee? Sasha-Lynn, maybe? Perhaps I’ll change my name to Sasha-Lynn and pursue a career in country music.



Jeri-Faye and Nicole.
FYI: Jeri-Faye was a ChivaGirl in 2007


Summer

Wow, do I know how to veer off topic, or what?
Back to the ChivaGirls audition…

While the teaching and learning was going on, I circled around to find the best angle for photos. See, the first thing you gotta do in this situation is figure out which way everyone will be facing for the money shots – the kicks, the leaps, the moments in the dance when they slow down for half a second. There were 2 or 3 professional photographers there, so I tried to watch and imitate.

For a while, I sat on the floor in front of the judges table, but then I noticed a short set of stairs leading up to a small platform above the judges. A couple of the photographers were up there and I thought to myself “hmmm…this looks promising.” So up I went. It was a good spot for capturing the action. (In a minute, you’ll understand why this is relevant.)

The music was a song called “Krazy” by Pitbull (feat. Lil Jon). I hadn’t heard this song before. It goes like this: “…(la la la la) KRAZY, (la la la la ) Krazy, (la la la la) Krazy.” (The “la la la’s” being the part I didn’t know.) I’m pretty sure one of the lines is “Yo mama, she gets Krazy.” Here’s a link, so’s you can hear the song.

One of the things that makes Mr. John Peters fun is the way he teaches. The way he describes everything not only makes it easier to do, but also easier to remember. There’s the “karate,” the “kick the cat,” (I forgive you Mr. John Peters for being a cat hater,) the “hand on the shelf,” the “single hootchie,” the “double hootchie,” and my favorite, the “Disney.” He had to help some of the girls figure out the vibe of the dance. It wasn’t supposed to be all “pretty pretty princess,” you know? But don’t go too far in the other direction – this isn’t a 50 Cent video. This is a dance team, ok? It’s family entertainment, not the nudie bar.

Not that I know what goes on at the nudie bar.




They were about halfway through the choreography when I managed to make a jackass of myself all over again. Only this time it wasn’t just a few people who saw me. Everyone saw me. EVERYONE. I am not exaggerating in any way, shape, or form. I actually hid afterward.

Remember that I mentioned I was sitting up on the platform behind the judges? Everything was fine – until I decided to get up. Somehow, in the process of standing up, I managed to crack my head on a metal sign attached to nearby pole.

It is very important to me that you understand that this sign was attached to a free-standing metal stand. I don’t just go around knocking into stationary objects. This sign had been moved to a place where I did not expect it to be. I’m not saying someone was out to get me. I’m just saying that thing was NOT there when I sat down.

I didn’t knock it over or fall on it or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking. No no, that would be too simple. Let me tell you about this sign. This sign had a bell on it. I’m not talking about cute little jingle bells, or sleigh bells, or door bells. I’m talking about a big “have you been to Philadelphia and seen the Liberty Bell?” kind of bell. I hit the sign, and the bell went “BONG.” It wasn’t a little “bong” either. It was an enormous “Hey everybody, stop what you’re doing and look at me!!!” BOOOOONG.


Why me, God?
Why me all the time?

Aimee looked up and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was working on a concussion, and she was like “geez, I can’t take you anywhere.”

One of the other photographers just looked at me and shook his head.



Stupid bleeping sign.

Oh well. It wasn’t the most embarrassing moment of my life, and it for sure won’t be the last.

I waited for everyone to go back to what they were doing, then gingerly made my way back down to the floor, where I stayed put and did not move one inch until Round One started. My head hurt. My ankle hurt, and my dignity was in tatters. I was thinking, Aimee’s going to make me sign a waiver before she lets me into finals. If she lets me into finals.

First my ankle and then my skull. Things tend to happen in threes, you know. I spent the rest of the day expecting an anvil to fall from the sky and flatten me like a pancake, Wile E. Coyote-style.

After teaching the combination, the DJ put the song on a continuous loop so the dancers could practice. I noticed that they all scooted off to one side, out of the judges’ direct line of vision.

I scurried over to my bag, pausing to warn the Harris sisters to be careful, as it was obvious the whole entire building was booby trapped.

The time between learning the choreography and the actual audition, is one of the most interesting parts of the day. This is the part when you look around and start picking your favorites. (You don’t discuss any of this with the judges of course.) Some girls sat down and looked rather relaxed. Some marked the choreography along with the music. A few danced full out.


Don’t forget, there are loads more photos right here


It warmed the cockles of my heart to see the veterans helping some of the other girls. I noticed Amy and Marie in particular, walking through the counts with a couple of girls who seemed unsure about the steps.

If Dr. Laura was here, she would point at Marie and Amy and say (in her grand Dr. Laura way) “those two are women of character!” (That’s a complement, by the way. Dr. Laura is sometimes right about things.)

Speaking of Marie, I forgot to mention one other thing. The ChivaGirls 2009 calendar has just been released. Marie made me remember, because she’s on the cover (with Alana and Jessica.)

That calendar came out gore-juss. I’ll tell you lots more about the calendar some other time, but I assure you, it’s a fine piece of work. I spotted a stack of calendars, helped myself to one, and took it around the room for everyone to oooh and ahhh with me.



(This crappy photo I took doesn’t do justice to the cover at all.)

I am awfully proud of that calendar, which makes no sense, since I had nothing to do with the making of it.

Meanwhile, this was a good time to check out the outfits. Most of the girls were wearing the standard bright-colored two-piece ensemble. There were a few notable exceptions, though. One girl was wearing a teeny yellow skirt, which was super cute. Another girl was wearing a sparkly bra-top under a black mesh top. A third girl was wearing silver hot pants and matching silver shoes.

Nothing says “confidence” like silver hot pants.

My favorite top was red with a bow in the middle and red paillettes all over. (Pailettes are big fancy sequins with the hole at the top instead of in the middle.)

(Why am I explaining this? There is not one person reading this, thinking “Wow, I always wondered what pailettes are, and now I know. Thanks Sasha!”)

The bow is what put it over the top for me. Not as cute in the photo as in real life, but still super cute, right?

I’ve seen this girl at a few different auditions now. I wish I knew her name, so I could be all “hey, there’s Cindy.” (Or whatever her name is.) Instead of “hey, there’s that blonde girl I’ve seen before.”




Right. So after some rehearsal, it was time to start the auditions. There they went, three at a time. It was not easy. They had to freestyle for a few counts and then jump right into the choreography at a place that wasn’t completely obvious. I thought they all did a good job, and a few really sparkled. It went really fast.

La la la la Krazy. La la la la Krazy. La la la la Krazy.

I found out later that Silver Hot Pants messed up the choreography and instead of freaking out, she did a couple back flips. I can’t believe I missed it. Let that be a lesson to all. If you screw up, it’s not about how bad you look, it’s about how well you recover. Seems to me like a pretty good way to get the judges’ attention – if you’re willing to risk it. The judges don’t remember her as “the girl who messed up.” They remember her as “the girl who did a back flip.” (And made it to finals, by the way.)

In silver hot pants.

After everyone had a turn to perform, there was a break for the judges to deliberate. (I try to tune out during that part. Otherwise, I might offer my advice at a time when nobody’s looking for it.)



Spying on the judges. Mwahahahaha…

I think this is when the bikers started to show up. Not “Hell’s Angels” bikers. Bicycle bikers. Going around and around, like there was nothing else going on in the room.



If I were a professional bike rider, I’d put some cool tassels on my handle bars.

It wasn’t too long before the judges announced the first cut. One of the girls I was particularly rooting for didn’t make it, leaving me with some very upset feelings, in addition to the throbbing in my ankle and the dent in the top of my head.

After the cut, we took a group photo of all the girls who made it to the next round.




Then it was time to learn the rest. Rather than teaching a different combination for the second round, Mr. John Peters added on to the choreography they’d already learned. The new stuff included a calypso leap, (anything with the word “calypso” in it is bound to be fun), and ended with a dramatic, Flashdancy kind of pose.


calypso!


The big finish


I can’t remember if the new stuff was longer than the old stuff. It seemed to take less time to learn it though. And then it was time for the second cut.



Each group of 3 performed the dance. After that, they were called up to the judges’ table to say their name and a little about their dance history.

The first few groups had to answer off the cuff. Later groups found out what the questions were, and had a moment or two to prepare. Unfair, I say!

Each girl was asked if she speaks Spanish. Woe unto to those who lied about it, though because then one of the judges would ask a couple of questions in Spanish. It wasn’t difficult stuff – what do you like to do in your free time, what’s your favorite food, where are your parents from, etc. But it was enough to tell a native speaker from a poser. There were no posers in the house though. Those who couldn’t speak Spanish admitted it, and several volunteered to purchase Rosetta Stone. That’s not to say that you have to speak Spanish to be a ChivaGirl. Many of the veterans do not speak Spanish. But they do like to have at least a few Spanish-speakers on the team.




After that, there were more deliberations, and then another cut. I took the opportunity to go out to my car to fetch Ashley’s copy of the Laker Girls movie. I don’t have Ashley’s contact info, so I wasn’t sure how to get it to her, but as luck would have it, Jeri-Faye agreed to pass it on. (After giving me the “you are a very strange person” look, which was understandable. If I weren’t me, I’d wonder what I was doing running around with an obscure Laker Girls DVD like it was secret footage of the aliens crashing at Roswell.)

By this time, I was feeling some pain. I managed to play it off and walk normally while inside the Thunderdome. Er… I mean the Velodrome. But as soon as those double doors closed behind me, it was like “OOOOOOW, ow, ow, ow, ow!” It seemed to take forever to get up those stairs, shuffle out to my car, grab the movie, and shuffle back inside and down the stairs.

(FYI: going down the stairs actually hurts waaaaay more than going up them. That was a nasty little surprise.)

I handed the DVD to Jeri-Faye. She wanted to watch the movie too, and I told her she absolutely should. I think they should pass it around and all the Laker Girls should watch it. If for no other reason than to see their director Lisa Estrada, in the role of “Beth” the choreographer. Tee hee.

I made it back inside just in time for the final cut. All of the veterans made it. A couple of my other favorites also made it. All in all, 30 girls were left standing. I had them all gather together for another group photo, and then it was time to go.


Day 1 was over.


Candidate interviews were scheduled for Monday and Tuesday, leading up to Wednesday’s finals. (I’ll tell you about finals in a few days.)

Incidentally, for those who care, that night my ankle blew up to the size of a small grapefruit. I couldn’t walk on it at all, but I needed an ice pack and some Advil in the worst way so I had to find a way to get to the kitchen. Unfortunately, my knees were horribly bruised too, so I couldn’t even crawl there. I wound up using my vacuum cleaner as a crutch. (By the way, I do NOT recommend that, as most vacuum cleaners have wheels on the bottom and sometimes move when you do not expect them to.)


Stupid Velodrome.

Read on…


Nets Dancer a ‘Jac’ of All Trades

by Ben Couch
NJNETS.COM

Jaclyn, NJ Nets You might know her as the “Jac of All Nets,” or the coach of the NETSational Senior Dancers, or a model in the Capezio catalog, or “that girl” in several commercials or … well, you get the point. However you’re familiar with Nets Dancer Jaclyn, it’s safe to say she’s exploring the opportunities afforded her.

The Pomona, N.Y. native, now in her fourth year with the team, is a Rutgers graduate with a degree in broadcast journalism. Jaclyn recently took time out of her crowded schedule – 16-hour workdays! – for an exclusive interview with NJNets.com.

NJNets.com: You’re entering your fourth year with the Nets Dancers. How’d you get started with the team?

Jaclyn: I was on a Broadway tour, right after I graduated from Rutgers, and I broke my foot on the tour. They sent me home, and after many months of rehab, I heard that Petra Pope was coming over from the Knicks, and she was starting a new team with the Nets. I thought it something I would be interested in, and when I looked it up online, I saw the audition was the next day. So I just showed up, and I’ve been here ever since.

NJNets.com:
That’ll do it, ha. Two follow-up questions. First: How’d you break your foot?

Jaclyn: I was on the national tour of the Broadway show Contact, which is all swing dancing, and I was dancing with my partner, who – I don’t want to say he dropped me, but he kind of did. I was in 3-inch heels and when my foot hit the ground, I heard it pop. I finished the show on a broken foot. But once I saw the X-Ray and I saw the purple, I knew it was time to go home.

NJNets.com: And what about Petra coming to the Nets made you want to audition?

Jaclyn: Going to Rutgers, I lived with a couple of the Knicks City Dancers, so I knew about her, I knew her background starting the Laker Girls and coming here to New York. I knew that she would run a great team and a program I’d be proud to be a part of, so I figured I’d give it a try.

NJNets.com:
What made you come back after that first year?

Jaclyn: There’s nothing like it. as a dancer, to be able have a steady gig dancing is very rare. I loved all the ladies I danced with, they became best friends of mine and it just doesn’t feel like a job. No matter how many hours we put in, or how many injuries we have, it’s just always fun. There’s no reason to give it up until the time is right.

Jaclyn, NJ Nets NJNets.com: In four years, have you made any memorable mistakes?

Jaclyn: Mistakes … let me think. I think everybody’s probably had a mistake now and then. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything absolutely awful. Thank God – knock on wood – I’ve never tripped on my face and fell. Watch – I’ll do that at the next game. Hopefully not.

I would say costume malfunctions are always an issue, that kind of thing. I know I had an issue in my second season with a pair of shorts being too short, and I got in trouble for that, but ironically that picture ended up on the Web site for the dancer contest the NBA has every year. It got us to the second round, so I can’t complain now.

NJNets.com: What’s been your hardest routine?

Jaclyn: We do so many different styles of dance, that’s probably the hardest part, is transitioning. We’ll do something very Broadway-ish; we did a Lion King number last year where we were barefoot. It was very modern and we had a choreographer from the Broadway show come in and teach it. Then we do Fosse-style numbers and we do really serious hip-hop dances. We’re all over the place: salsa, swing – you name it, we do it. That’s what makes it fun. It’s why we like to do what we do; it never makes it boring.

NJNets.com: Do you have a stylistic preference?

Jaclyn: You know, I don’t. I enjoy partner dancing, I think it’s fun and appreciate that we get to do it here as well. But I love hip-hop and jazz; I was trained in jazz my whole life. Whatever we do, I’m loving it. I guarantee you that.

NJNets.com: How’d you get involved with Contact?

Jaclyn: I auditioned when I graduated from college. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, a lifelong dream of mine was always to be on Broadway, and I figured, “Let’s give it a shot, see what happens.” And they hired me.

Check out parts two and three of Jaclyn’s interview.

[New Jersey Nets Dancers]

This Laker Girl is a reel artist

By Phil Friedman, Correspondent
The Daily Breeze
02/19/2009

As you look out on the court at Staples Center Friday night, you will see Laker Girl Stefanie. She embodies what Laker Girls director Lisa Estrada and the Laker Girls are all about. Beautiful young ladies, who put in endless hours on their routines to entertain throngs of Laker fans.

The Laker Girls are dedicated to making a difference in their communities, participating in everything from events encouraging youngsters to read to Christmas fishing trips for homeless children. The Laker Girls are smart, beautiful, hard-working and civic-minded ladies.

It’s hard to believe when you watch Stefanie perform her routines or help a child to read that deep down she is also a hard-core angler.

Stefanie grew up in Alaska, where fishing is second nature.

“Everyone, men and women, fish and hunt in Alaska,” Stefanie said.

Her father, Lewis, loved fishing more than anything and the fact he could do it with his daughter made these angling excursions even more special. Lewis had a plane that transported them to some of the most remote and beautiful parts of our 49th state.

Stefanie was 6 months old when her father took her on her first fishing trip. With that first trip with her father, she was hooked. Fishing became the activity the two could do together. Sometimes they would make a day of it and other times the adventure would last several days camping out in the breathtaking Alaskan wilderness.

“My dad would fish all night long,” she said. “It’s as if he just couldn’t get enough.”

Stefanie even had a favorite spot.

“I don’t even remember exactly where it was but it was like an enchanted garden with clear water with beautiful boulders,” she said. “I just loved being there, and my dad knew it.

“If I didn’t feel like going fishing, all my dad would have to say is, `I’ll take you to your favorite spot.’ The next thing I knew, we were in the plane.”

She has compiled a great list catches that include numerous king salmon to 30 pounds, halibut to 70 pounds, a 30-pound lingcod, trout, even a shark.

“I just love to be on the water,” she said. “There is nothing more beautiful and peaceful than a day on the water,” the Laker Girl said.

But for the 23-year-old beauty , the best thing about fishing is the time she spent with her father.

“It (fishing) gave us something to do together,” she said. “Fishing made us and has kept us close through today and beyond.”

Although Stefanie says her heart is still in Alaska, it’s only there for the summer.

“It’s just too cold for me now,” she said. “My dad said I was made for Southern California.”

Fish talk: “Sportfishing Saturday” with Philip Friedman airs at 9 a.m. on KLAC (570 AM) and will have Bart Hall and Mike Lum as guests from the Fred Hall Fishing, Tackle and Boat Show this week. They will be discussing all the great sights and sounds of what many call the greatest fishing show on earth, set to open March 4 at the Long Beach Convention Center.

Matt Simmons also will be part of the show to talk about a memorial fishing trip for his father, SWAT officer Randall Simmons. The trip is scheduled for Feb.28 out of Pierpoint Landing in Long Beach.