Field Trip: Lob City!

Guess what has two thumbs and got to go to a recent Clippers game and see the dancers and have lots of fun?

You know it!

First, some apologies. Those of you who have been with us for a while know that I have a special place in my heart for the Clippers Spirit. This is the very first dance team that opened their arms and welcomed me like family. They’ve always been beyond awesome, and for that reason, I will always love them. They are – collectively – my Eternal Flame.

I’m sure you can imagine my chagrin when I realized almost the whole entire 2011-12 regular season had gone by, and I’d not been to one game. Not even one. What’s worse – it didn’t even occur to me until Clippers Spirit Director Audrea Harris sent me a note about the 2012 auditions. Ohmigawd, how did I miss the whole season? And I call myself the #1 Clippers Spirit fan? Unofficial president of the Clippers Spirit fan club? I am covered in shame. I vowed to Audrea that this will not happen again. 2012-2113, I’m all about it. I’m in there! You can count on me! Yessiree.

Then Audrea was like “So why don’t you come to the next game?”
You don’t have to ask me twice. I’m there!

And that’s how I found myself on the way to Staples Center one Saturday morning, not long ago. The game was at 12:30, but of course the dancers have to be there early, so I pulled into the parking lot around 10 a.m. There is something weird about going to a professional level sporting event at 10 in the morning.

I was a little nervous. The last game I’d been to, over a year ago, I had a messed up foot and was limping around like a big loser. I was glad to be going to this game with two working feet.

Imagine my chagrin when I took one step out of the parking structure – and fell flat on my face. (Actually, it was more like all fours, if you want to be 100% accurate.) I skinned the bejeezus out of my knee. Imagine my further horror when I tried to stand up and realized I’d jacked up my foot. Again.

Why me, God? Why me?

I immediately decided no one was going to know about this. No way I was going to go in there and admit that I’d injured myself again. Injured myself while doing absolutely nothing – again. It’s utterly humiliating, if you want to know the absolute truth. It hurt like hell as I limped my way over to the Staples Center, but I told myself it was a matter of mind over matter. I was going to walk in there like a normal person. I. Would. Not. Limp. And no one would know what just happened.

By the time I got inside, I had a pretty credible swagger going on. What’s this here? Naw, that’s not a limp. I’m just walking with attitude.

I ducked into the arena to see if the dance team was rehearsing. While I was there, I sat down for a moment to check out my skinned knee. Eeeeeeew. Thank goodness I was wearing dark colored pants that covered everything up.

Of course, no sooner had I got my pant leg rolled up, than one of the arena security people came over and told me it was a closed practice. Before I got up and hobbled out of there, I snapped a quick pic to capture the moment of my (not-so) triumphant return to the Clipper Nation.

Aw yeah, baby. I’m back!

But that’s enough about my trials and tribulations. In the interests of brevity, all future references to my debilitating injury and the shame associated therewith will simply be referred to as the [youknowwhat].

I sucked it up, I got on the elevator, and went downstairs to find Audrea and the Clippers Spirit.

I came across them as they rehearsed in the hallway. I’m not sure exactly why they were in the hallway.

I read a great quote in an Elizabeth Berg novel once. It goes something like “If you think you don’t miss someone, just see them again.” Berg is right. It all comes flooding back. I hadn’t realized how much I missed this. All those smiling faces. I admit I got a little verclempt (on the inside.)

Pretty soon, we headed out to the court for rehearsal, and I was back to work again. It was like riding a bike.

The team rehearsed all of their routines for the night, while the two basketball teams (Clippers and Golden State that night), did what they do at either end of the court. Throwing balls around and whatnot. The Clippers Fan Patrol also came out to practice a few stunts.

These girls work HARD, but they make it look easy and fun.
No wonder so many people show up at tryouts every year.

One thing about the on-court rehearsal: is it is dangerous. There are basketballs flying everywhere. Plus, I don’t know if the guys realize how much bigger they are than the members of the dance team. Someone could really get hurt.

I watched as Brittany almost got smacked in the head with a rogue basketball. Thank goodness for those ninja-like reflexes. She caught the ball, laughed, and tossed it back to Dave Severns (Director of Player Development).

Dave hands the ball back to the guilty party.

After that, I was hyper-aware of every ball and every live body on the court. I was not about to sustain a concussion in addition to the [youknowwhat].


I wasn’t the only one. Kellie was not trying to take a ball upside the head either.

One of Audrea’s assistants brought over her headset. From what I gather, it gets a little old, sharing headsets, so this year, Audrea got one of her own. But it’s not just any old headset. This one sparkles.

Headset by Swarovski – ha!

Audrea proudly models her handiwork.
Katrina, get out of my shot!

All of a sudden, I really want to bedazzle something. I don’t know if it’s because of this, or because I’ve seen every single episode of “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.”


More rehearsal. Nobody smiles more than Ariana. She’s fun to watch.

Somebody want to tell me exactly what those two are doing in the background?

Random thought: If I shaved this entire team bald, I bet Locks of Love could make like a HUNDRED wigs.

After rehearsal, it was back to the dressing to get suited up for the game. The girls had brand new dresses, just out of the box. There was a little bit of confusion on exactly how these were supposed to go. One strap goes over the shoulder. Is the other one supposed to go across the front? Or across the back? Or do they both go on the same side?

Because the outfits were new, they hadn’t been road-tested, so to speak. Nobody knew how they would hold up during a dance, so Audrea decided the dresses would only be worn for pregame, and then the ladies would change outfits.

Which way does this thing go?

Once everyone was pinned in, it was time to head up to the gates to meet and greet the fans. Brittany, Rhea, and Katrina went one way. Sara, Jessie, and Kellie went the other way.

My usual m.o. is to stick to the dancers like a bad habit. Wherever they go, I go. They rehearse – I’m there. They perform – I’m there. Somebody has an itch – I’m there to witness the scratching. This time I had to make a few adjustments in order to keep the [youknowwhat] on the downlow. No way I’d be able to keep up with the girls, so I just sort of hung back and let them go ahead. They took the stairs. I took the elevator.

The fans, as always, were thrilled to see them. Meeting and greeting commenced.

It occured to me that while I have taken puh-lenty of great photos of Rhea over the years, I don’t think I’ve done Brittany and Katrina justice. I’m going to rectify that tonight.

Over by the gates, the dancers were joined by the Fan Patrol.

I must say, it doesn’t take a whole lot of encouragement to get the
Fan Patrol guys hefting those girls around like sacks of flour.

Over the years, I have mostly overcome my fear of the Fan Patrol’s death-defying stunts. I’m still pretty awed though. I don’t know anyone else who can do this.

Pretty soon it was time to meet up in the locker room and head out for pregame. I waited for everyone to go downstairs, and then eased on over to the elevator again. So far, so good.

You know how just before the game starts, the music gets loud and the crowd gets all hyped up? Well, let me tell you, there are all kinds of shenanigans going on in the tunnel, where the public can’t see.

Plus, there’s always time for photos.

Meanwhile behind the dancers, the Clippers basketball team is engaged in some bizarre pregame ritual whereby they take turns sprinting up and down the hallway while the others make race car sounds. Blake Griffin dashes by. Kmart and DeAndre whip their heads to the left and go ZOOOOOM! Blake comes back running the other way. The heads whip to the right. ZOOOOOOOM! Then it’s DeAndre’s turn to run, and Blake and KMart do the zooming. This is so weird.

This is the first time I’ve seen these red boots in person. They are intense.
I think I’m a little bit afraid of these boots.

The dancers run out to hype up the crowd while the two basketball teams clear the court.

Then the dancers clear off and the lights go down. It’s showtime!

A minute later, the dancers and Fan Patrol run back out. They’re on the court. They’re off the court. They’re on again. They’re off again. It’s difficult to keep track.

The basketball teams are introduced and the National Anthem singer does her thing.

The lights come up, the dancers exit, and the game begins.

Back in the dressing room, the girls hurry through the next costume change. Meanwhile, Audrea is fretting over her jewelry. Someone in game ops has dared her to wear all of her blue cocktail rings at one time. If she wears them for the whole first quarter, he’ll give her $20. On the one hand, all that jewelry was going to look pretty tacky and unprofessional. Audrea doesn’t do “tacky and unprofessional” so this goes against the grain. On the other hand, as Katrina pointed out, $20 is a mani/pedi.

She earned that $20, fair and square.

I made my way back out to the court. The game had started, but it wasn’t all that exciting yet, so I had some time to think. The last time I’d been to a game at the Staples Center, I sat waaaaay up in the 300s.


Wow, that seems far away. I remember looking down at the numbers on the baseline, thinking “That should be me right there. That #10 down there has my name all over it. ”

How ya like me now?
Representin’ on the #10. Holla!

Let me tell you something: I’ve been up there, and I’ve been down here. Down here is better.

Every time the buzzer sounded, I looked over my shoulder to see if the dance team was coming. By the time they showed up for their first performance, I had a pretty good crick in my neck. It’s always a race to get out there before they start dancing, so have to start moving the second I see them coming.

When the team hit the court, so did I.

The first quarter dance was “Proud Mary.” Hit it!

This is a really fun one!

Just as quickly as they came, they went.

Due to the [youknowwhat] I was a little too far behind the dance team when they left the court. But the time I got out of the tunnel, there was nobody there but me and a nice red-jacketed gentleman who informed me that I was not allowed back to the dressing room without an escort. WHA–?

Just as I feared. Now that the Clips are big news, security has tightened up. Anyway, it’s my fault for not going to more games, so the guy didn’t recognize me.

To tell you the truth, it didn’t bother me all that much. With the [youknowwhat] going on, I decided I’d be just as happy waiting out on the court. So I texted Audrea so she didn’t think I’d been kidnapped, then I went back out on the court and parked myself behind the baseline. Things were going well so far. I didn’t think anyone was on to me.

Side benefit of the [youknowwhat]: I got to watch some exciting basketball. It was wonderful to see the arena completely full and the Clips getting extra love from the people.

When the dancers appeared for the second quarter dance, they were in hip hop mode.

It’s tricky to rock around, to rock around that’s right on time
It’s tricky! It’s tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky…

WERK!

As the dancers ran off the court, a man in a suit pulled me aside and to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to go out in front of the dancers anymore. For the rest of the game, I’d have to stay behind the baseline.

Duuuuuude, what? Since when? These are my girls! I have to be out front. What was I going to do for the rest of the game? I won’t be able to see anything! Those guys in the red jackets are always blocking the way. (Yes, I’m whining.)

On the other hand, me and my [youknowwhat] were fine with this. Next game, maybe I’ll be a little upset. This game, I’ma go take a seat.

And don’t think you’ve won, dude. This just means next time I’ll have to be a little sneaky.

The third quarter dance was “Gimmie Dat.” Costume change!

I think I did pretty good job from the side, even with the Red Jackets in my way.

Looking sharp in black!
(Hmmm…Besides auditions, this might be the first time I’ve seen
these people in anything other than red, white, and blue.)

Jessie shakin’ her booty. Hee hee.

The girls put on their jackets for a quick minute during the break after the 3rd quarter, and then it was time for another costume change.

I’m always happy when the fourth quarter rolls around because the girls get to come out and sit with me. Or rather, the girls spend Q4 behind the baseline on either side of the court. And since that’s where the photographers sit, I happened to be near them. It’s not like they were all “Hey, let’s go hang out with Sasha,” know what I mean? This is their job, after all.

Anyway, I’m glad to see them.

I hung with Sara, Ariana, Becca, Anasheh, and Rhea.

I enjoyed watching Kellie on the other end of the court. The faces she makes are very entertaining.

After a bit, the girls had to get up and pump up the crowd.

While they were doing that, I switched sides and sat with Brittany, Katrina, Kellie, Katie, and Jessie.

Random factoid: Katie has a twin sister named Kellie, but that Kellie isn’t the same is this Kellie. Obviously.

Katie and Kellie. Or is it Kellie and Katie?

Next thing I knew, the game is over. The Clips managed to score a few extra points in the last couple minutes, and it was over. Time flies!

In all, it was a SUPER fun time. Why I don’t do this more often?

In the meantime, the Clips are still in the playoffs. YES! And even though we have Blake Griffin, DJ, CP3, Kmart, and company to thank for it, I also think this is the universe’s way of giving the dancers a few extra games to make up for that stinkin’ lock out.

Yup. I loves me some Clippers Spirit. I feel like huggin’ somebody.

If you haven’t had quite enough of the Clippers Spirit, click here to check out the rest of the photos from the game!