This just in: The Texans Cheerleaders Rule

So the Houston Texans Cheerleaders have been doing those “Freestyle Fridays” for several weeks. I highly encourage you to watch, to see what kinds of shenanigans these women get up to. [Click here for the full complement of HTC videos.] Freestyle Friday’s happen at the gym, on the field, at the grocery store, and wherever they can think of to do it. Gotta keep it fresh, you see. The most recent one took place at the swimming pool. And there is a bonus water slide video that should not be missed.

When I discovered Freestyle Fridays, and saw what was going on, I thought “Yes, Sasha. These are your kind of people.” Given the vast array of choreographic styles represented, I felt that the only thing missing was the Carlton Dance (look it up.) I expressed an devout hope that at some point, the Carlton Dance would be included in a future FF video. I was saddened by the absence of my favorite dance in the subsequent videos, but hey, they’re busy. And though I have had the occasional flip-out in reaction to some (real or perceived) slight to this website, I don’t truly believe all that many people know about UC. We used to keep stats, but that was years ago. So now I have no idea. And with the regular NFL season coming up, I expect the HTCs are busy with other things besides surfing this site.

Fast-forward a couple of weeks. I checked my email and found a note that the Texans had done the Carlton Dance. They had actually done it. Right after I mentioned it, I think. They’d made a special effort to do it (for me? No way!) and – tragically – I’d missed it.

Before I go any further, I’d like you to watch the following video.

In your grandma’s days, they called this a failure to see the forest because of all the trees.

I was looking at video. I really was. But I was looking at the girl on the bottom, and did not even see what the girls behind her were doing. Come on, you have to give me that. It’s difficult to identify the Carlton Dance when it is performed in a kneeling position, ok? And I was looking at her trying to figure out who that is because she’s such a shorty. (Ahem, I mean to say “vertically challenged.”)

But I should have known. When FIVE of them busted out of line, I should’ve known something was coming.

Check it out (fast forward to about 1:50)

They really went for it, and I have to say, this was a moment that absolutely warmed the cockles of my dried up little peach pit of a heart. Made me want to hug somebody. I sure do loves me some Texans Cheerleaders. And now I have to go back and watch this like 14 more times so I can figure out exactly who all is in that human totem pole, because they are all going on my List.

Rock stars! I wish I had some pull and could get you a lollipop or an evening off of practice or something.