2011 Clippers Spirit Dance Team Photo Shoot – Part Deux

Greetings, sports fans! As promised, I’ve got the goods on the latest Clippers Spirit photo shoot. (Sadly, this may be my last Clippers field trip, as I think I managed to simultaneously piss off at least 2/3 of the team. More on that later.) For now, let’s just enjoy, shall we?

So this photo shoot took place at the Clippers practice facility. I’d never been there before. And even though it was pretty close to a Target store I visit fairly often, I’d never noticed it before. Nice place. Snazzy! Lots of cool toys.

This is also where they filmed “Blake Like Me” for Norm MacDonald’s new show. If you haven’t seen it, click here. It’s hilarious. (Mostly. It sort of fizzles at the end.)

Once inside, I ran into Audrea, the team’s director, and followed her down the hall to where they were all set up for hair and makeup.

Audrea was there, of course, and her sister Adrianne, who always assists with this kind of thing. The photographer was busy setting up in the gym, and there was also a small crew there to do interviews for the dancers’ video profiles to go on the website. The dancers had staggered arrival times, so there were only a few there at first. Since there wasn’t much going on, I took a few minutes to poke around. There was the obligatory trophy/award case. There was a big training room will all sorts of cardio and weight machines. There was the basketball court, of course. And there was a room where I assume the guys watch game videos/soaps/talk shows, or whatever.

There was a box in the corner where I found a couple of intriguing items, which I would’ve smuggled out of there, except for stealing is wrong.

One of them was an oversize basketball. It was the size of a small beach ball. Since it was obviously too big to go through the hoop, I don’t know what it was there for. The other thing was DeAndre’s hand. A life-size, laminated cut out of the Clippers center’s left hand, affixed to a 3 foot pole. I was instantly fascinated by this thing. I carried it around for a while, asking people to shake my hand, gimmie five, and talk to the hand because the face ain’t listenin’. I thought this was hilarious.

You know how when you think something’s funny and no one else does? Yeah, it was like that.

I found it even more hilarious when I discovered its purpose. The coaches or trainers or whoever use it during practice to simulate the reach of a big guy like DeAndre or Blake or Chris Kaman. I have this picture in my head of a five foot tall trainer running around waving that hand over his head, squealing like a girl, while the team pelts him with basketballs. That’s probably not how they use it, but there was no one around to provide a proper explanation.

All of the girls went through makeup first. Smokey eyes and red lips for everyone!

Meanwhile, the Maury Povich show was playing on the flat screen. Who even knew this show was still on tv? It was one of those paternity test episodes. We were ALL relieved to find out that Tavares isn’t the baby’s daddy.

Of course, nobody was more relieved than Tavares.

The next step was hair. I am sort of fascinated by the whole hair styling process. I find it interesting that a key step in making a good hairdo is to first make it look like squirrels are nesting in it.

Gina is the stylist. She does not approve of Bump-its.

Somehow I always miss the part where goes from looking like this, to looking all smooth and polished.

After hair and makeup, the girls got dressed in their new costumes. I am in LOVE with these dresses. I believe I have gone on record before as being a fan of a well-placed ruffle or two. (In moderation, of course. Nobody wants to see an entire dance team fixed up like Little Bo Peep.)

I totally dig this twist on the jersey dress. If you ask me, the ruffles make the dress. Looooove it. Can’t wait to see it on.

So I’m sitting there, thinking happy little thoughts. I love photo shoots. I have an extremely large basketball. I have DeAndre’s hand. I got to see the team facilities. The girls have new dresses. Tavares is single man. Hey if it weren’t for this lockout, I wouldn’t know about any of this stuff. Silver linings!

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of voicing my sentiments out loud:

“Hey, is it wrong that I’m sort of HAPPY about the lockout?”

SILENCE.

“What?”

DEAFENING SILENCE.

Expressions ranging from completely stone-faced to “Oh no she DI’NT.” With a smattering of “This chick has lost her damn mind.”

Wow, I think I just offended the whole team and the director in one fell swoop.

Katrina was all “WHAT??? NO! We want to dance!”

So I immediately started backpedaling: “Um…what I meant to say was I’m glad about it right now because we have all this extra stuff for the website, but it’s not like I want the lockout to last. I mean, I hope it’s over, like, next week. Or today, even…”

It was too late. I was drowned out by a chorus of girls discussing how the main thing about being on the team is dancing and if there aren’t going to be any games, they might have to bust into the Staples Center and dance anyway. Even if the place is empty.

Thank goodness it was time for the shooting to begin. I for one was more than ready for a change of subject.

The photographer did the girls’ individual photos first.

Jacy

Shannon

Brittany

Anasheh

Ariana

After that, they did some groupings for upcoming features for Clippers.com.

Katie and Jocelyn are both from Utah.

Jacy and Katrina are roomates.

These are the Pac 10 girls.
Or maybe it’s Pac 12. I don’t know. I’m confused.

While some girls were shooting, others were doing their interviews.

But that still left plenty of time for hijinks.

Bianca’s other job is ninja assassin

Bianca, Katie, and Jessie

Ariana, Anasheh, Rachel, Bianca, Katrina, Jacy, Jessie, Michelle, and Becca.

No dancers were harmed during the course of this filming.

Jessie (really hoping Kellie doesn’t get that lipstick on her.)

FAIL.
Ok, let’s try that again.

I don’t know what they’re doing either.

Blondes have to stick together

After that, they did one big group photo. Check out the finished product! (Click on it to see it BIGGER.)

And then everyone changed clothes, veterans in shorts, rookies in skirts.

The veterans had been through this before, and they knew whichever group was ready first, would shoot first and – most importantly – could leave first. So they made sure they were the first ones out of the gate.

Anasheh, Katrina, Kellie, Jocelyn, Bianca, Brittany, and Rhea

The rookies were next:

Sara, Ariana, Jacy, Shannon, Jessie, Rachel, Michelle, Becca, and Katie

And then the shoot ended, as these things normally do, with people gradually drifting out the door and dancers headed to IN-N-Out or wherever since they probably hadn’t eaten anything that day.

Of course, I took lots more photos than these. You can see the rest of them on my flickr page. [Click here.]

I don’t *think* they’re mad at me anymore. Then again they might be, after they see some of these photos. I may have to keep a low profile for a while.