Heat Dancer Auditions underway!

I look forward to heat dancer auditions every year, for the simple reason that these women Show Out. Click here for the photo gallery and see what I mean. You should check out the entire photo gallery for no reason than to honor the amount of time some of these women put into accessorizing their audition ensembles.

This isn’t one of those auditions where you just snatch something cute off the rack at Target. No no. That’s just the jumping off point, you understand.

Did I lie? Nope.

Click here to watch a short video that – if you’re lucky – is proceeded by the new Jordans commercial featuring Blake and Drain. Mad love for Dr. Drain. I think we all know someone just like him. (Not so much Blake Griffin, if only because dude is crazy tall. You ever stand next to one of these NBA guys? I actually stood next to Blake Griffin for five seconds one time, and even though I have a master’s degree and a professional job, and I’m reasonably well read, and passably intelligent, the only words that came to mind were “Wow. You’re like, really tall.”)

On an unrelated note, what the HELL is that…that… thing hanging from the ceiling? I’m skeered of it. It looks like it’s going to come down and suck your brain out through your nose and turn you into a zombie, and you won’t even know what happened except all of a sudden you crave human flesh.

Roll your eyes now, but you”ll be singing a different tune when you find out Miami is ground zero for the zombie apocalypse. Look at all those unsuspecting dancers. They don’t even know…