Ravens’ cheerleading tryouts
By Jennifer X. Williams
CSNbaltimore.com
March 11, 2011
Recently, my newsroom manager had an assignment for me. The young buck of a journalist that I am was ready for anything … anything. A sitdown with John Harbaugh? A feature on Stephen Strasburg’s road to recovery? Perhaps a candid interview with Barack Obama on the current state of the NFL? Finally, I would be getting my chance to prove myself.
I was given a far more arduous task: Ravens cheerleading tryouts.
This wasn’t just any breed of pompon-infused rah-rahing and sis-boom-bahing, but NFL cheerleading. We’re talking radiating white teeth, mesmerizing midriffs and enough hair theatrics to shame Poison in its heyday. (Sidenote: Somewhere, Bret Michaels is weeping softly; you’re not fooling anyone with that red bandana). These women make Glee’s tantalizing cheer captain, Quinn Fabray, look like a spelling bee contestant.
Was I a little intimidated? Maybe. But, still, I decided to try out for the Ravens cheerleading squad.
Well, it was more like I teetered on the fence all week. Bolstered by countless hours of “Bring It On,” “Flashdance” and “Footloose,” I finally gathered the courage to text the Ravens communications coordinator to tell her I was actually going through with my “journalistic endeavor.”
I became No. 164 of 230 hopefuls vying for a spot on a 60-person squad. Now, the way Baltimore’s Downtown Athletic Club is set up, you walk in to find yourself on the second level looking down into the gym area, where tryouts were being held. It was a pulsating sea of bedazzled brassieres, booty shorts and nerves dancing in unison to a song that beckoned, “If you want to be my cowboy …” It was Christmas morning for Josh, the lucky CSN cameraman for the day.
Suddenly, I was whisked away by the Charlie’s Angels team of Serena B., Kellie Lee and Alyssa H. Apparently, my reputation had preceded me and I was going to get some tutoring in a private studio. As we began to go through the routine, I realized I was genuinely enjoying myself. At one point, I got a little too comfortable and busted out the “lawnmower” move. I thought I was hysterical, but Kellie Lee said: “She’s a total blonde.”
I was sweating profusely after going through the routine only a handful of times. Meanwhile, the three real cheerleaders made it look effortless. Each move was delivered with serious confidence and sass. Three snaps, ladies.
I was even challenged to copy Alyssa H.’s signature sultry hair flip. I looked more like a crazed Cousin Itt.
As for the actual tryout, I took the easy way out. My three guardian angels were with me the whole time. It went OK, I suppose. (Note to self: Confiscate raw footage.) Alyssa H. asked me what I would do if I made the team. I suspect she was only being nice.
Still, it was hard to focus on my assignment with all the glitter and booty shakin’, I said in exasperation to Josh, the camera guy. To which he responded: “You think it’s hard to concentrate?”
Ladies, there’s something for you as well. The Ravens cheerleaders are the only squad to have male cheerleaders, or stunt men, as they liked to be called. We watched in awe as they effortlessly propelled a woman at least 15 feet into the air. One member of the squad confided he had caught some flak from his friends regarding his activity. To which he would remind them he was on the field for all the action Sunday. And, oh, by the way, just take a look at his 40 female teammates.
As for Alyssa H., she said the best part of her job is, “Performing in front of 70,000. It doesn’t get any better that.” I was convinced.
